


Frost, Leading on to Winter

by bassetfan



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Anaphylaxis, Angst, Blood and Injury, Body Horror, Brain Injury, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Depression, Eating Disorders, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Torture, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Memory Loss, Racism, Sickness and vomiting, Unreliable Narrator, food allergies, violence and torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25925728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bassetfan/pseuds/bassetfan
Summary: When Loki is sent to the Avengers for his protection, he begins to develop feelings for Steve Rogers.  But does Steve truly care for Loki, or is Loki simply a substitute for a love that Steve lost long ago?
Relationships: Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki/Steve Rogers, Loki/Tony Stark, Possible Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Suggestion of Steve Rogers/James 'Bucky' Barnes
Comments: 254
Kudos: 281





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Some stuff you should know before reading - 
> 
> I have a much larger age gap between Thor and Loki. I get hung up on trying to get details right, so I looked up the 'midgardian' equivalent of their ages, and this is the answer that I liked best-
> 
> In ‘Infinity War’, Thor says he’s 1500 years old. In ‘The Dark World’, Loki says they live 5000 years or so longer than humans. Taking the average human male life expectancy as 80, let’s say that makes their lifespan approximately 5080. 5080 divided by 1500 equals 3.4. 3.4 divided by a male human lifespan - 80 - gives us an age of 23.5 (24, if we round up, which I’m going to do!). If we do the same for Loki (b. 965 A.D., Thor), we get an age of 16.6 (17). Which gives us an age difference in human years - of about 8 years. (I may have spend way too long researching this!) As for the ‘we were eight’ comment (Ragnarok), I’m just going to pretend I didn’t hear it…
> 
> I’m going with these ages, because I think the story works better with Loki being a younger, angsty teen, and I love ‘protective big brother’ Thor!
> 
> Also, just so no-one gets upset as they’re reading this - Steve isn’t perfect in this story. He makes some mistakes and errors of judgement. In other words, he’s human and he’s going through some stuff. And I’m afraid Clint doesn’t come out of this story terribly well. We need a few bad guys, after all! And please check for warnings throughout. So far, I don’t imagine anything will be very explicit or graphic, but most of my stories contain elements that may be triggering for some.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

_All that is gold does not glitter,  
Not all those who wander are lost;  
The old that is strong does not wither,  
Deep roots are not reached by the frost._

_J. R. R. Tolkien_

\----------

Once Odin’s temper cooled and he learned more about the events on Midgard, he began to realize that something about the whole situation was decidedly wrong.

At first, he had been furious when Heimdall informed him that, not only was Loki still alive, but he was causing trouble on Midgard. Odin’s fury only increased when Loki was brought before him, unrepentant and insolent, defiantly provoking Odin to even greater levels of wrath.

Odin had been so incensed by Loki’s attitude that he had sentenced him on the spot, not even seeking an explanation for his behavior.

But now that Odin considered it rationally, none of this was consistent with what he knew of Loki. The lack of strategy, the way he showed himself at every opportunity, the foolishness of attacking the home of the only people on the planet that had the power to stop him; it was too reckless, too showy, too… _theatrical_. Add to that the strangest thing of all - although Loki was often impatient and sarcastic, he never spoke disrespectfully to his mother.

Loki was one of the wiliest tacticians in the nine realms and he rarely showed his hand. Besides that, he was a gifted mage. Odin suspected that given free rein, Loki's powers might one day equal his own; so why had Loki barely used his sedir? How had he been so easily defeated?

Odin signaled for a guard. "Escort Loki to one of the interrogation cells. I will join you there in a moment."

Frigga was quietly crying in their private chambers. As he entered, she looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. 

He reached down to take her hand. "I suspect there may be other forces at work in this matter. We should investigate further. Will you accompany me and lend me your aid?"

He didn't need to ask, of course she would. Standing quickly, she took his arm and, with Frigga on one side and Gungnir gripped in the other, they walked down to Asgard's vast prison and turned into the cell that held their son.

Loki stood before them, chained and muzzled, eyes shining with anger and defiance. 

Frigga winced and stepped forward to remove the muzzle, passing it to the nearby guard. "Was that really necessary?"

The guard looked embarrassed. "He was being… quite offensive, my lady."

Odin made a dismissive gesture. "Wait outside."

Loki flexed his jaw and worked his mouth. He glared insolently at the two of them. "Well, that was unpleasant. For the record, I was not being offensive; I was being honest. But I suppose I can't blame anyone here for not recognizing honesty when they hear it, can I?"

Odin didn't answer him. "Lie down on the bed."

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to read me a bedtime story? What about the one with the Jotun beast and the Asgardian king? I'm looking forward to hearing how it ends..."

"Lie down on the bed or I will call the guards and they will tie you onto it."

"Odin!" protested Frigga.

Loki and Odin stared at each other for a long minute before Loki attempted to climb up, the chains making it difficult for him. Odin watched dispassionately. 

Frigga saw a faint blush on Loki’s cheeks, the same blush she had seen so many times when Loki thought he had been found wanting. She stepped forward and tried to help him, but he pushed her away with a frown. "I can do it!" 

After a few minutes more, he managed to push himself up and Odin motioned to Frigga. “My dear, would you mind?"

Frigga had no doubt what he wanted of her. 

Like an angry, feral cat, Loki watched her approach. "What are you going to do to me? Or rather," he said nastily, "what are you going to do that you haven't already done?"

She gave him a gentle smile. "We're going to try to help you." And before he could protest further, she raised her hand in a sleeping spell.

“Thank you." Odin moved closer. "Let us see what we can discover."

Together, they pressed their hands against his forehead and pushed their minds into his.

\----------

At first, nothing was clear. That in itself was telling; there should have been a clear, linear picture of his thoughts. Instead, it was a jumble of emotions, all of them overwhelmingly negative and angry. 

Pictures of violence flashed through his mind so quickly that they couldn't isolate any single image; but they felt all the horror and the evil of what they were seeing.

Odin heard Frigga whisper, "Oh, my poor boy!"

“Do not move away!"

She shot him a look that told him the instruction had not been necessary.

They probed deeper, until suddenly the confusion cleared away and they were standing in a barren, rocky landscape. It was dark and forbidding; now all they could feel was Loki's fear.

Frigga frowned. “This is a real place. We have traveled here; this is not simply a construct of his mind."

Odin was about to answer when he caught movement.

A voice sounded in the darkness before they could make out a figure. "You have news, Asgardian? Can you yet redeem yourself with your master…" The voice broke off as the figure came into view and saw the royal couple. "Who are you, how are you here? Do you have the scepter?"

_The scepter,_ thought Odin; _was that the key to all of this?_

"We are here the same way that you are here," Odin answered. "By entering the mind of another. Who are you? Identify yourself!" Odin may have been there in mind only, but Gungnir's power still ran through him, and he thrust its power towards the intruder.

The figure fell back as the force hit him, and his hold on Loki’s mind temporarily receded. They saw a sudden rush of memories through Loki's eyes. Most of it was confused, clouded with suffering and pain, but they could see enough to give them an idea of what had happened.

They felt the tug of a strong external force, and pulled back before they could be touched by its power. Free from Loki’s consciousness, they kept their hands on his forehead and began to push their own sedir into him.

The corrupting presence was firmly rooted; they increased the strength of their attack. Unable to hold firm against the power of their joint assault, the alien grip began to break away, tearing through Loki's mind as it did so. Frigga began to pull back.

Odin grabbed her wrist and held her hand in place. "No! We must continue!"

"We are damaging his mind!"

"We must not stop now - we cannot! This creature threatens the safety of the nine realms. With Loki under their control - as their puppet, with all of his knowledge and power at their fingertips - they would be unstoppable. We must prevent them from gaining such power at any cost!”

“At the cost of Loki himself? If we continue, we may cause irreparable damage!” 

“And if we stop now, the hold on Loki's mind will only become stronger and we will lose him anyway!"

Her shoulders slumped; she knew that he was right. This was for Asgard; in normal circumstances, it was a price Loki would be willing to pay. She strengthened her will. With a final push of their combined sedir, they felt the alien influence leave their son. 

Loki lay as still as a corpse on the bed before them. Odin began to loosen his chains to allow greater movement, but not remove them. “Let us hope we have done enough. The taint in his mind was deep rooted, but I think we have removed it at last.”

Frigga put a hand against Loki's cheek. It was as cold as ice. "I think he may recover…"

Odin put a hand over hers. "I am sure of it," he reassured her, with false optimism. "He should sleep through the night. We will leave him and return in the morning."

She hesitated. "Should we not stay?"

Odin gently pulled her away. "His condition is stable, he will not stir until the morning.”

“Should we send for Eir?”

“Until we have determined that he is no longer a threat, it would not be safe for her. I will set guards at the door, and Heimdall and I will watch over him, never fear. In the meantime, let us go and dine. We must tell Thor what we have learned this night. I fear this is not the last we have heard of this threat; we must prepare for an attack."

Frigga bowed her head; she knew her husband was right. With one last look at her sleeping son, she followed Odin out of the cell.

\----------

Thor had been shocked to hear about Loki. His first impulse had been to go and see him, but his father had forbidden it, telling him Loki should be left to sleep through the night. Thor had spent a sleepless night worrying about his brother, and as soon as the sun rose the next morning, he hurried to see him.

Loki was still locked and chained in the interrogation cell, lying on his side on the hard bed. Thor entered and sat on a chair brought for him by one of the guards. He thought at first his brother was sleeping, until he saw a glimmer of green from beneath the dark lashes.

"Loki?"

Loki didn’t move.

"Brother, I know you're awake."

“You’re not my brother.”

“I will always be your brother.”

Loki sighed and rolled onto his back. He looked exhausted. "What do you want, Thor?"

"I want to know that you are alright."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you care? I tried to kill you."

"No, you did not."

"I stabbed you, Thor."

"Loki, you have known how to deliver a killing strike since you were a child. If you had intended to kill me, I would be dead."

Loki turned to look at him at last. "I didn’t want to kill you,” he finally conceded. His voice took on a desperate note, “I never wanted you dead, you have to believe that."

"I know, I do." He bent forward and squeezed his brother’s shoulder.

“The Destroyer has been programmed not to harm us. It could not have moved against you unless it was sure it would not permanently injure you."

Thor had not known that, but he was happy to hear it. It had upset him, the thought that Loki would send the Destroyer to kill him. But something still bothered him. "What of the town and the others?"

“The others?"

“Sif, Fandral, Volstagg and Hogan."

Loki pushed himself up. “They weren't supposed to be there, they were going to ruin everything! I had to think of something quickly! I gave orders to destroy everything to ensure that you could not return until you were ready.” He began to talk faster, becoming louder. “Surely, it was better to cause a little damage in a small town like that, than to drag the nine realms into a long and bloody war against the Jotnar? You know it would spread, I had to… had to..." he winced and clutched his head. 

"Loki?" Thor hurried over and knelt beside the bed.

Loki's eyes were closed and he pressed his hands against his temples. He spoke quickly, almost frenzied in his attempt to explain, and his voice rose again. “Odin had a plan for you! For Asgard! You were sent to Midgard to learn a lesson, and they were going to defy the Allfather and bring you back before you learned anything!" 

Tears began to spill from his eyes and Thor noticed that Loki’s fingernails were cutting into his temples. 

He pulled the hands away and held them in his own. "Loki, stop that! Please, brother, calm down!" 

Loki pulled away and began to curl into himself. 

"What's wrong?"

"H..head hurts. Make it stop, T..Thor... _please_... make it stop!"

Thor hurried to the door of the cell. “Send for my father and fetch a healer!"

He went back to his brother and pulled him to his side. To his horror, he saw that Loki's nose was bleeding.

It seemed like forever before his father arrived, a healer at his heels.

"What happened?"

"He said his head was hurting." Thor moved away to allow his father to examine him.

Odin motioned for the healer. "Can you do something to stop the pain?"

The healer nodded and stepped forward. After a few minutes, Loki seemed to fall into a deep sleep.

"What's wrong with him?"

Odin frowned. "We will need to examine him first. Leave us."

Thor knew better than to argue, but he wouldn’t - couldn’t - leave his brother until he knew that Loki would be well. Instead, he retreated to the hallway where he sank down to the floor, his back against the wall, and waited.

\----------

It seemed like forever before they came out. 

As the healer hurried away, Odin turned to his son. “Thor, it is not appropriate for a future king of Asgard to be sitting on the floor."

Thor ignored him. "How is Loki?"

Odin sighed. "He will be well. The alien influence held his mind for too long and exposure like that will damage the strongest minds. We have done what we can, but I fear there may be permanent damage. We can only hope that it will not be great."

Thor was horrified. "Permanent damage?"

"Headaches and the like. Perhaps some memory loss. We cannot be sure at this point, it is too early to know."

“May I sit with him?"

"No, your brother has been sedated and a healer will be sent to monitor his progress. You will be able to speak with him later."

Thor pictured his brother lying chained in the cold, dark cell. "Can he be returned to his room?"

Odin looked sadly at his son. "Alas, he must remain in his cell until I have the opportunity to speak with him and ensure his mind is his own once more."

Thor glanced towards the room. "We talked; he seemed to be as he was. He was talking about before…" Thor broke off. He wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to bring up the subject of Loki's previous tenure as king regent.

But Odin caught his slip; it was too late to back away now. "He spoke about letting the frost giants into Asgard?"

"No. But he said he never wanted to kill me." He realized he wanted to know if Loki had been telling the truth. "He said the Destroyer was programmed not to?"

To his relief, Odin nodded. “That is true. It cannot cause permanent injury to a member of the royal family."

"But it did hurt me… it killed me!"

Surprisingly, Odin gave a small smile. "I think you will find neither you or your brother can be so easily disposed of. The Destroyer knows how much force it can apply before causing lasting damage."

“So even though it killed me…"

"It did not kill you. It disrupted your life force for a few moments, nothing more."

"But when I came back, I had my powers again; I could summon Mjolnir."

"Because you realized you were not invincible and there were things for which you would sacrifice yourself. It was what I had hoped for when I banished you."

"You foresaw it?"

"I did not imagine it could have happened so fast; but then I had no idea that Loki would send the Destroyer after you. It was a clever idea."

Thor was shocked. "You approve?"

Odin put a hand on his son's shoulder. "You were starting to learn some humility, but the regard in which you were held by the mortal woman could have quickly overcome that. You were still a long way from the redemption that would allow you to wield Mjolnir and return. Had it not been for the actions of Loki and the Destroyer, you might be there even now."

Thor considered. "Would you have done what Loki did?"

Now it was Odin's turn to look thoughtful. "Possibly, had I thought of it. But I was in no hurry, I had time on my side. I could wait."

His father’s answer chilled him; how long might he have been stranded on Midgard, powerless and exiled from his family and friends?

"And what of the rest of Loki's actions?" Thor wasn't trying to get his brother into trouble, but he was curious to know how his father perceived them.

A cloud crossed Odin's face. "He should not have let the frost giants into the vault. It was wrong of him to show them such a weakness in our defenses."

Thor was surprised. “Surely, the greater danger was that they would steal the casket?"

Odin shook his head. “There was never a chance of that. The alarm would be raised and the Destroyer would be activated as soon as any of the artifacts were removed."

"What about the guards?"

“That was regrettable. No harm would have come to them had they not left their posts to investigate. They have been warned not to enter the vault unless they have a direct order."

So their deaths were not entirely Loki's fault; Thor was glad of that. "And the frost giants?"

Odin frowned. "What about them?"

Thor opened his mouth to clarify - what about their deaths? - before realizing that of course, they wouldn't matter. They were frost giants - what did their deaths matter to anyone on Asgard?

He realized, once again, the enormity of the revelation about Loki's heritage, and tried to imagine himself in Loki’s place. He thought of the way they had been raised; frost giants were evil and stupid - if it were not for their great villainy, they would be little more than animals waiting for slaughter. They could be killed, without thought or consideration. Their lives held no value. How many times as children had they played ‘Kill the Frost Giant’?

He wondered what he would have done in Loki's place, and shuddered in horror at the thought of it. No wonder Loki had lost all hope.

Trying to keep any hint of judgement out of his tone, he asked, "Father, why did you not raise us to think better of the fros...the Jotnar?"

Odin looked surprised by the question. "Are you suggesting that I could have changed the thoughts and opinions of everyone in the nine realms? Loki would soon have discovered how people regard the frost giants. It would have done Loki no good to develop too high an opinion of them. He is different from his kind. He has the advantages of an Asgardian upbringing and education. We have tried to raise him to be better than his birthright."

There was always something in his father's tone when he spoke of the Jotnar but, for the first time, Thor thought he noticed something about the way Odin spoke of Loki.

On impulse, he asked, "Father, did Loki ever tell you that he thought I wasn't ready for the throne?"

Odin looked grave. "He did, and I told him that I had made my decision. I am not happy that he ignored my judgement in this."

Thor opened his mouth before realizing that there was nothing he could say. Loki had been right; Thor wasn't ready to rule. He was, even now, too impetuous, too immature. But Thor couldn't know this without realizing something else, as well - his father had been wrong. Thor could see that now, just as Loki had then, although his father would never admit it. 

Loki had been _right_.

If Thor had been crowned as king, Asgard would have been at war before his backside had even warmed the throne.

So Loki had formed a plan and it had worked, in a sense. Thor had not become king. That everything else had gone so disastrously awry was no fault of Loki's, but of everyone around him - Odin and Frigga for not preparing Loki for the worst revelation of his life, Sif and the Warriors Three for betraying him on Thor's behalf, and Heimdall, for ignoring his sworn duty to the throne and interfering with Loki's plans.

"Will Loki be punished?"

Odin shook his head. "Judging from what your mother and I saw, I believe your brother has been punished enough, don't you agree?"

More than enough, he thought. "Yes, I do. What of the others?"

Odin looked at him questioningly. “The others?"

“Sif, the Warriors Three. Heimdall."

"I see no reason why they would be punished. They were simply being loyal to the man who should have been their king." Odin smiled and put a hand on his son's shoulder.

_But I was not their king! By being loyal to me, they were committing treason and disobeying their lawful king,_ Thor thought, but didn't say. He may not agree with what they did, but he didn't want his friends to get into trouble.

Thor decided to return to the subject that had begun this train of thought. "I am sure Loki is himself again."

Odin smiled. "I am glad to hear it. However, he will be perfectly comfortable where he is until I have a chance to speak with him myself."

And so saying, he turned and walked away from Loki's cell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve read so many amazing stories with Loki-centric relationships, that I decided I really wanted to try my hand at writing one myself. I originally liked the idea of doing a Loki/Jarvis/Vision story (I’ve never seen one, though one must exist!), but just couldn’t get enough of a story clear in my head. Instead, this took over my brain and I can’t seem to write anything else until I get this out there!
> 
> And why am I posting this when, not only is it unfinished, but I also have another incomplete story that I’m still working on? Because I’ve realised that I love the way a story evolves with reader feedback and commentary. Also, I’ve written and rewritten the first chapter over a dozen times now. If I don’t post it, I’ll keep on until it drives me insane (it’s not a long drive…). I don’t love the first few paragraphs, but my brain's fried and I don't know how to fix them.
> 
> Please let me know (nicely, please!) if you see any glaring errors or if the characters are too OOC (not that it seems to bother Marvel. Odin goes from ‘you are my son’ to ‘your birthright was to die’ to ‘my sons’ in the space of three films. I’m surprised he didn’t get whiplash). I try to check my details as much as possible, but some of the films I’ve only seen once, and even the ones I own I’ve mis-remembered a few times (when it comes to memory, I am, alas, a human goldfish).


	2. Chapter 2

It was some hours later when Thor saw Loki and his father emerging from the stairs that led to the prison. He hurried over to join them.  
Loki was moving like an old man. He looked very pale and was squinting his eyes against the sun; he clearly still had a bad headache. Despite knowing that, Thor couldn't stop himself from asking, "Brother, how are you feeling?"

Loki looked at him with hollow eyes. "I am better, thank you."

Better, Thor guessed, but not well. He moved to Loki's side, effectively blocking him from the light - literally for once, he thought. Loki shot him a thin, grateful smile.

"You will be pleased to hear that Loki is indeed free of any outside influences. His mind is once again wholly his own."

Thor gave a genuine smile. "I am glad to hear it. And where are you going now? Are you going to rest in your room or will you have something to eat first?"

Loki looked as though he was desperate to do both, but Odin shook his head. "It is important that we discuss our next course of action. Thor, join us. This concerns you too."

Together, they walked to the room that Odin used as his office. “Sit," he commanded.

Loki sank down gratefully and Thor sat beside him.

"When we examined Loki's mind, we saw a creature known to him as 'The Other’. His ultimate purpose was hidden from our view, but it was clear he was not acting on his own. There was a stronger force behind him - a greater power that seems to be tied to the scepter. I was unable to determine its identity; Loki’s own recollections are not clear. It may be that he didn’t see who or what it was, or it may be that the information was lost when we removed the taint from Loki’s mind. I fear some of his memories may have perished during the procedure. It is unfortunate.”

Thor didn’t like the way his father said that; as if it was the lack of information that was troubling, and not the damage done to Loki.

Odin continued, “I believe the force that attacked Loki threatens us all. In addition, it was made clear to Loki that his failure would result in heavy punishment. I do not think they will forget about him now. They must not find him until we have had time to prepare and learn more about our enemy."

Thor paled and reached out to cup his hand against his brother’s neck. “So what should we do?"

“They will have heard of Loki’s sentence, and will be expecting him to be imprisoned in our dungeons. Therefore, I have decided that what I did to you in punishment, I must now do to Loki to keep him hidden. His sedir must be removed -” 

Loki looked up in horror. “No, I beg you… please...”

"It must be so; your magical signature would be easy to trace and they will surely be searching for it. Your magic will be removed and we will send you in mortal form to the last place your enemies would think to look for you - to the Avengers of Midgard."

Loki and Thor stared at their father, aghast. Thor spoke first. "Father, you cannot mean that!"

Odin's expression was grave. "I do. His enemies will seek him here. They must not find him."

Thor could see the sense of it, but… "But Father, Loki committed crimes on Midgard. The people there will want him to answer for them."

"You will accompany your brother and prepare the way. You will tell them he has been absolved of any guilt and is to be held there in a position of safety and honor, as befits a prince of Asgard."

"But Father..." Thor began. Loki was strangely silent.

Odin fixed his eye on his son. "You will make it clear to them that Loki is without blame in this. Indeed, without his attempts to subvert The Other's plans, the invasion may well have caused a great deal of damage."

Thor looked blank. "His… what?"

“Surely you do not believe that your brother, a master of subterfuge and subtlety, would try to conquer a world that way? By attracting attention and launching an outright invasion? You are familiar enough with his methods to know that he would stay hidden, using guile and cunning to achieve his ends. He would not recruit soldiers, he would choose world leaders and kings."

Thor’s jaw dropped open as he realized his father was right. He turned to his brother, stricken. "Loki, I am sorry. I should have realized sooner."

Loki shrugged, but Thor could tell that he was still upset about everything that had happened. 

Loki addressed his father instead. “Please, Fa…,” he stumbled over the word. Could he still address Odin that way? Loki remembered his sentencing as ‘the prisoner’; had Odin decided to disown Loki, now that he had proved to be so unsatisfactory? He tried to think of a better form of address. “Allfather, surely there must be somewhere else I can go?"

If Odin had noticed his slip and his uncertainty, he showed no signs of it. "No. No-one will expect to find you on Midgard but if they do find you there, Thor's friends will be able to conceal and protect you - is that not so?" He turned a questioning eye to Thor.

"I do not know," Thor answered honestly. "They were very angry about the invasion. But once we tell them what has happened…"

"No. I think it best that we do not tell them of the reasons behind the attack on Midgard. We should keep this information to ourselves for the present."

Loki and Thor looked at their father in shock. Thor recovered first. "But Father, how are we then to exonerate Loki from blame?" 

Odin held up a hand. "I do not wish the mortals to know we can be exploited in such a way. I would rather they continue to believe us to be without such weaknesses."

Loki paled at Odin's words. Perhaps, he thought, Asgardians were without weakness; it was only a creature like him - an unwanted Jotun runt - that could be brought so low.

Thor nodded in assent, but continued, "I understand, but if they do not know the circumstances behind Loki’s involvement, how can we explain to them that Loki was not at fault?"

Odin frowned at his eldest son. "We have no need to explain ourselves to such as they. I have said that Loki has been cleared of all wrongdoing; that must be enough for them. I am Odin, King of Asgard, God of War and Wisdom, Protector of the Nine Realms - protector of their realm. If they wish for that protection to continue, they will respect my judgement. And so you may tell them." He turned to Loki. "If you are ready?"

"I am to go now?" Loki's voice sounded very small.

"It is best."

"There is no other way?"

"No, Loki."

Odin's words froze him in place. No, Loki… words that led to his ruin once before. Perhaps they would do so again, but, as ever, he was powerless to prevent it. It seemed he was destined to be the pawn of more powerful men. 

“I trust I may say farewell to mother and pack my things?"

Odin shook his head. "No. Now that our course of action has been decided upon, it is best to act quickly. It would not do for you to be seen wandering about the palace. It would be better if all believed that you still reside within your prison cell. I will explain to Frigga, she will understand."

Loki's heart sank. He desperately wanted to see his mother - he needed to explain, to apologize and make sure that he was forgiven - but he knew there was no point in arguing. He shrugged, resigned. “Then I am ready."

“Good. There is one more thing. Thor, you will stay with your brother for three days only.”

Loki shot his brother a look of entreaty and Thor opened his mouth to object, but again, Odin held up a hand to forestall him. “When they do not find him, his enemies will look for you, hoping that you will lead them to him. This you must not do. You will see that your brother is safe with the Avengers, and then you will return here with the scepter. I believe the scepter plays an important part in this, and I wish to examine it further.”

Again, Thor looked troubled. “I do not think the mortals will want to part with the scepter…”

Odin rapped Gungnir against the stone floor. “Enough! They are nothing to us! It is not for them to refuse to comply with my wishes. You will return here - with the scepter - within three Midgardian days, or I shall retrieve it myself with the armies of Asgard at my heels. There will be no further discussion on the matter.”

Thor bowed his head in resignation; he knew better than to try to argue. He could only hope that his friends would understand and accede to Odin’s demands. “I will do my best, Father.”

“I am confident that by working together, you will succeed.” Odin pointed Gungnir towards them. "Farewell, my sons." 

A beam of light engulfed them, and they were gone.

\----------

Thor had Mjolnir to cushion his fall, but he still found himself landing heavily on the roof of Stark's tower. He turned to see Loki falling much too fast, and he thrust out his hands to try to catch him. He was seconds too late; Loki fell gracelessly, hitting the ground with a heavy thump. His head bounced against the solid ground and he heard the clack of teeth.

Thor hurried over and knelt beside his brother. "Loki, are you hurt?"

There was blood dribbling down his brother's chin. Loki shook his head and winced.

"You're bleeding."

Loki was still lying on his back, his eyes closed. "B..bit my lip."

Thor watched him for a moment. "Can you get up?"

"Uh-huh." It sounded like assent, but he continued to lie there.

The door to the roof flew open and Tony Stark rushed out, wearing his iron man suit. When he saw Loki he assumed an attack position. “Thor, buddy, whadda you need? You got him?"

Thor moved to defend his brother. "Wait! Loki is not a threat! We are here with peaceful intentions."

"Yeah, not sure I'm ready to believe that. Look at me, show me your eyes."

Thor frowned. “My eyes? Why?" Nevertheless, he raised his eyes to Tony's.

Blue! ...But of course, they always had been. Tony swore.

Surprisingly, Loki gave a small chuckle. "He wants to see if I'm controlling your mind, Thor." He sounded more like himself, although he stayed flat on the ground.

"Oh! But how could I be under his control? You still have the scepter, do you not?"

"Far as I know, Shield has it, but who knows what he can do?"

Thor bristled. “My brother's powers are great, but although he can sometimes access memories, he cannot take over a person's mind in that way."

"He did before."

"Because he carried the scepter. I thought you understood that?"

Tony's faceplate peeled away. “So you're saying that he can't do it unless he's carrying that thing?"

"Yes. I am sorry, I thought I had made that clear."

Tony relaxed his stance. "Not really, no."

The door behind him flew open and Bruce Banner ran out. He stopped suddenly when he saw them. "Hey guys, what's going on? Jarvis said..."

He froze when he saw Loki. Loki sat up quickly and pushed himself onto his knees, pausing as a wave of dizziness hit him. He spat a mouthful of blood onto the ground.

"What's he doing here?" Bruce's skin began to take on a greenish tinge. 

Tony put a hand on his shoulder and tried to turn him around, moving him back to the door. "Woah, there, jolly green. Nothing you need to be here for. Why don't you go… meditate or something. Drink some green tea. Listen to whale songs. That kind of stuff. I’ve got this."

Bruce pushed his hand away. "It's okay, I'm alright. I want to know what's going on."

"Yeah, I think we all need to know that. Well, blondie?"

\----------

Half an hour later, Tony downed the rest of his drink. “So let me get this straight - your father has decided that we have to babysit your psycho brother? Does crazy run in the family?"

Thor bristled. "You will speak respectfully, mortal. You are talking about the Allfather of Asgard."

"Allfather or not, he expects us to just forgive and forget what happened here?"

A disembodied voice interrupted them. “Sir, Mr. Fury and the others are here."

“Send ‘em up, Jarv."

"Certainly, sir."

Thor glared angrily at Tony as the elevator doors opened. Fury and the rest of the Avengers marched into the room, Clint shooting angry glares at Loki.

"We got your call. What's this about?"

Tony gestured towards Loki. He was sitting in the corner of the room, turned away from the others with his head down. Despite his posture, everyone tensed when they saw him and, consciously or subconsciously, adopted a defensive posture. “The Alldaddy of Asgard is asking us - me! - to babysit bag-of-cats over here!"

Fury quirked an eyebrow towards Thor. "Care to explain?"

“My father has determined that Loki is to suffer no further repercussions for his actions here. He asks that Loki be housed here until such time as he deems fit."

Fury crossed his arms across his chest. "Oh, he does, does he? And exactly why would we agree to that?"

"It would be a mistake to consider it a request." Loki spoke for the first time, keeping his back to the room.

"Is that right?" Fury sneered. "And just who does he think he is, that he can tell us what to do?"

Thor straightened to his full height and moved to stand in front of him. Outside, the skies darkened and the air became oppressive. "He thinks that he is Odin, the Allfather, King of Asgard and Protector of the Nine Realms. And he thinks that you are mortals, under our protection."

"Is that a threat?" Fury narrowed his eyes.

“Should it be?" Rain began to beat against the windows and a rumble of thunder growled in the distance. 

Steve Rogers stepped forward and put his hand on Thor's arm. "Why don't we all just step back and talk about this?"

Black Widow spoke for the first time. “Steve is right. We should calm down and consider this rationally."

"I see no reason to stay here for this." Loki walked over to his brother, still keeping his face averted from the others. He didn’t want to see their expressions when they looked at him. He could feel their hatred as if it was a physical presence. “Thor, where are your rooms?” 

Thor put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You are right, it is better that you wait elsewhere while we discuss this. My room is on the floor below; Jarvis will tell you how to get there."

"Jarvis?"

“The spirit in the wall that serves the man of iron."

"I am an artificial intelligence created by Mr. Stark,” the voice clarified.

Thor smiled in the general direction of the voice. "Can you tell my brother how to reach my room?"

"Certainly, Mr. Odinson. If the younger Mr. Odinson would like to step into the elevator…"

Loki looked up suddenly. His hair fell back from his face to reveal a white face. Specks of drying blood were caked on his chin. “You shouldn't call me that." Would Odin be angry, Loki wondered, if he allowed people to address him by that name? 

Thor looked upset. "Loki, it is still your name…"

Loki almost shook his head in frustration. Sometimes, Thor’s naivety seemed like willful ignorance. "It is not now, nor has it ever been."

"How do you wish me to address you, sir?"

Loki's shoulders slumped, all the fight suddenly drained from him. Odin’s voice echoed again in his head - ‘Laufey’s son’. He felt sick to his stomach; he would never claim that name. "I don't know."

Bruce stepped forward and motioned to the blood on Loki’s chin. "Are you injured?" 

Loki turned away from him. "No."

There was a pause. "Fine. Follow me, I'll show you where to go."

Steve frowned. "Bruce, you should be here for this."

Bruce shrugged. "It's okay. I'll vote with Tony."

Tony grinned while Steve looked disapproving. "You really should stay…"

"You think this isn't likely to turn into an argument? Trust me, I'll be better off out of it. Just fill me in on anything I need to know." Bruce tilted his head towards Loki. "Follow me."

Wordlessly, head down once more, Loki followed him out the door.

\----------

They walked silently until Bruce reached a door. "Jarvis?"

"Certainly, sir." The door swung open and Bruce gestured for him to walk inside. 

Loki looked around with no real interest. “Thank you." He walked to the seat farthest away from the window and sat down, curling in on himself.

“Do you have a headache?"

"Why?"

“The answer's usually ‘yes’ or ‘no’. I’ve noticed you’re trying to keep your head down and avoid the light."

Loki kept his head lowered, his forehead resting on his knees. "Asgardians don't get headaches," he said, choosing his words carefully.

"Oh. You’re sure you weren’t injured?" Loki may be a mad, egocentric supervillain, Bruce thought, but he would still help him if he could.

"I am fine, Doctor Banner. Thank you for escorting me here. You may leave me now."

Bruce looked uncomfortable. "I probably shouldn't leave you alone."

Loki sighed. "I promise you I will not attempt to take over the world while I'm here. Does that help?"

"Not really."

Loki straightened. "Then is there somewhere I could rest? Preferably on my own?" Too much had happened, too quickly. He wanted to get away from everyone, to hide himself from suspicious glances and hostile eyes.

Bruce opened his mouth to say that he didn't think it was a good idea; then he looked at Loki properly for the first time. 

Loki's face was pale and gaunt. His eyes had dark shadows and there were marks on his chin - blood, Bruce guessed, remembering the roof. But the thing that made him stare was how young Loki looked. It was the first time Bruce had really looked at him. He looked… "Loki, how old are you?"

Loki scowled. "I was born in the year 965; I am 1047 years old. I'm guessing that makes me your senior by approximately 1000 years. So, what do you think? Am I old enough to go and lie down on my own?"

His tone and manner belied his words; he sounded like a petulant teenager. Bruce sighed and pointed to a door. “Through there."

“Thank you." Loki unfurled himself from the chair and disappeared into the room.

"Jarvis?"

"Yes, Mr. Banner?"

"Could you… you know, keep an eye on him?"

"Certainly, sir."

Bruce searched around for a few minutes, but there were no books to be found. He slipped off his shoes and sat cross-legged on the floor to meditate.

\----------

Loki rested his head against the other side of the door, thankful to finally find some peace. His head was pounding.

There was a bed in front of him. Clearly, this was Thor's bedroom. Everything was red and gold, bright and showy and loud. The brightness of the room hurt his head. Narrowing his eyes to slits, Loki kicked off his shoes and crawled under the covers. He was so tired.

In the quiet of the room, the throbbing of his head seemed to sound like a drum. Perhaps he should have confessed to his headache; Banner was a doctor, no doubt he could have given him something to stop the pain. But he had already displayed enough weaknesses. No wonder Odin had banished him down here and stripped him of his power - he wasn't worthy of being called an Asgardian.

Well, of course, he was not. He was a filthy Jotun animal.

He wished he had asked more questions before they left Asgard. Now he wondered, did Thor know what he was? He obviously knew that Loki was adopted, but when did he learn it? And did he know that he had been raised with a monster? Surely not… surely, he could not know.

He wished he could have spoken to his mother - to _Frigga_ \- before he left. She had known, but she had acted as though she loved him anyway. He wanted to know how she could do that, how she could pretend to love a monster like him?

His head continued to pound. He became aware of the softness of the sheets and felt the heaviness of sleep catching up with him. It was a mistake, he knew. He should not fall asleep here, in the midst of his enemies, while his fate was being decided. He wasn't afraid they would kill him - he wasn't afraid to die. No, he was afraid they would hurt him again; he was afraid of the _pain_. 

He pushed the sheets back; he must not sleep now. 

The light seared through his brain like a lightning strike and he swiftly pulled them up again. Blanketed again in the darkness, he felt himself starting to drift into sleep. This time, he didn't have the energy to fight it.


	3. Chapter 3

“So Loki's only punishment is to have his magic removed and be sent here? And you won't even tell us how he got off so lightly?" Clint's hands were clenched in fists at his sides.

Thor cursed inwardly. If only he could tell them; he had to believe his friends would understand, if they knew that Loki's mind had not been his own. He could understand his father's reasoning - of course he could, it was sound military strategy not to expose any potential weaknesses that might be exploited - but it would make things very difficult for Loki. 

He took a breath. "It is not a punishment. As I have already explained, the Allfather has exonerated Loki of all blame. He merely asks that you hold him here in safety and honor, until such time as our father deems fit. I have told you I cannot explain further, but I am asking you - as my friends and shield brothers - to trust me."

Tony walked over to the bar and poured himself another drink. "Anyone else?"

Everyone except Thor gave a small nod. Tony pulled out a handful of glasses and poured a bottle of whiskey haphazardly over them. Half of it spilled onto the counter. "Help yourselves."

Steve walked over and began to hand out the glasses, wrinkling his nose at the sticky liquor that coated them. “And you can’t tell us what we’re keeping him safe from?”

“No, my friends, I regret that I cannot.”

Fury placed his dripping glass on the table beside him. "But you're saying that if we don't do this, we are making an enemy of Asgard."

"Yes."

Natasha walked over to the bar, picked up a cloth and wiped over her glass. ”Doesn't really seem as though we have any choice."

Thor didn't answer; he didn't need to. She was right.

Steve turned to Tony. “Tony?"

Tony downed the contents of his glass. "Kind of a waste of time asking me when we’ve already established that we can't say no." He slammed the glass on the bar. “So, since the mighty Odin says we have to do this, do we have your word that you guys are gonna step in and fix everything if your crazy brother goes batshit again?"

Thor bit his lip on his temper. He hated hearing them talking about his brother that way. "You have my word that Loki will not…" he stopped, looking for the right words. In Asgard, they took oaths very seriously. He had been about to say ‘cause any trouble’, but he could not, in truth, promise that. Loki will not harm anyone? No, he couldn't guarantee that either. He knew - only too well - the lengths Loki could go to when he was upset. It was only now that Thor was starting to realize how frequently they had been accustomed to expressing themselves with violence, instead of words. "Loki will not ...try to take over the world or kill anyone," he finished lamely.

"Comforting," Tony quipped.

Fury stood, downed his drink and slammed it onto the counter. "Fine, but we’re going to put a few ground rules in place." 

Clint swore. "You're agreeing to this?"

Fury ignored the archer, and fixed Thor with a gimlet eye before moving until he was inches from the thunder god’s face. Thor took a moment to register how intimidating this man could be. Perhaps it was simply that he reminded Thor of Odin. It wasn't just the eyepatch; it was the certainty that everyone would always fall in with his plans.

"Your brother will not leave here under any circumstances. ANY circumstances. I don’t care if the building’s on fire, if he sets one foot outside this building, we WILL shoot to kill. He will NOT be allowed access to any weapons or computers." He considered for a moment. "Actually, let's go one step further. He will not be allowed access to any information about Earth or the Avengers unless approved by Shield. That includes newspapers, magazines, books, television - everything. He wants to read a cereal box, he has to get it approved by my people first."

Thor fought back his angry response. He didn’t like the way they were talking about Loki as though he was a criminal, but their demands were not, in themselves, objectionable. 

He didn’t want Loki to leave the protection of the building, and why would Loki want to learn anything about Midgard anyway? He would not see much of it from this tower, and learning more about it might only lead to restlessness, to a desire to travel and see the wonders Midgard had to offer. There must be a great many books on the planet that weren’t about Midgard; it was not as if Loki would have nothing to read. 

And besides, Loki would only be here until the threat had been vanquished; then he could return to Asgard and all of this would be behind them. 

But Fury hadn't finished. "Furthermore, you tell him nothing about us or how we operate. In fact, let’s make it a rule that he does not speak unless someone asks him a question. If he so much as finds out how I like my coffee, we put him in a jail cell and let him rot, unless we shoot him first. Do you understand?"

Thor clenched his fists and tried to keep his temper. He knew that without giving them more information, he wasn’t in a strong bargaining position and he could agree to this - it wasn’t unreasonable, it was nothing Loki could honestly object to. His brother knew his own faults as much as anyone, and they both knew that Loki frequently liked to bait people. Perhaps forbidding him to speak unnecessarily wouldn't be the worst idea.

But he had demands of his own, and he would make sure that they treated his brother according to his station. 

"Very well, we will agree to that. But in return, you will treat Loki with respect. You will feed, clothe and house him as a prince of Asgard and you will speak to him with the civility owed to my brother." He had a sudden thought. "And neither you, or the voice in the wall, will spy on him when he is in the privacy of his own quarters." He knew Loki would hate that; his brother had always valued his privacy.

Clint began to object. "Now wait a god-damned minute…"

Thor interrupted him. "Loki is being held here for his own protection. He is not a prisoner here; I will not have him spied upon as if you were his jailers." 

He watched their faces as they made their decision. Steve was the first to agree, Tony second. When everybody but Clint had agreed, the archer swore and stormed out of the room.

Tony poured himself another drink. "Well, here's to our new houseguest."

Steve turned to Tony. "We should probably work out some details. Is there room for him to stay in Thor's quarters?"

Tony shrugged. “Sure, I gave him a couple of extra rooms in case his buddies from New Mexico ever came to visit. Point Break, did you say you’d be staying for a few days?"

"Yes. The Allfather has allowed me some time to make sure Loki has everything he requires." 

Tony raised an eyebrow at that. "Everything, huh? Looking forward to coming back to that, sounds expensive."

“Expense will not be an issue. I have been provided with payment to cover the cost of his care." Odin, of course, filled with plots and stratagems, had thought of no such thing, but Thor had plenty of gold. After everything Loki had suffered, Thor would do his best to make sure that his brother was housed as comfortably as possible.

Tony grinned. "Great. Can't wait to see what’s in the Allfather’s wallet - Visa? Mastercard? Don’t tell me it’s American Express!”

Thor frowned, not understanding, but Tony continued. “Okay, so I guess you’re okay with him staying in your rooms?”

“Of course. They are wonderful rooms. With only a few additions, I think he will be very comfortable there.”

"No problem. So whaddya need?"

Thor considered. He was not used to considering details, Loki usually took care of such things. "I will have to speak with him of course, but he will need clothes… and books. He must have something to read. Oh, and something to write with - pens and parchment!" he added, with sudden inspiration.

Tony quirked an eyebrow. "Gonna have to be paper, I'm afraid. ‘Ye Olde Parchment Store’ closed down about a hundred years ago. As for the books, looks like you're gonna have to go through Shield. Fury, that something you can take care of?"

Fury sent him a look of pure venom. “Sure, I'll drop everything and get right on that."

"Ooo...kay. Mata Hari, wanna play librarian?"

Natasha gave a quick nod. "I'll let the relevant people know."

Thor bit his lip. "I cannot think of anything else at present."

"Fine. You can tell Jarvis if anything comes to mind."

"But you will be denying him access to our rooms?"

Tony mentally cursed. He’d been hoping Thor wouldn’t follow up on that part of the deal. "Look, I can't remove Jarvis, he's installed in every part of the tower."

"We made an agreement, Man of Iron…"

Tony held up his hands. "I know, I know, calm down! How’s this? Jarvis will continue to operate in your rooms,” Thor opened his mouth to speak but Tony continued, “because Loki will need to order food and stuff, won’t he?”

Thor considered. “I expect so.” He hadn’t thought of that; he was used to servants taking care of such mundane tasks.

“So Jarvis will still function - at a very basic level -” he added, seeing Fury about to object, “but we’ll change the privacy settings. Jarvis?"

"Yes, sir?" 

"You are not to replay or report anything you see or hear in Loki's apartment," he paused for a moment and then added, “unless it’s a matter of life or death, or you think he's planning something that would put us at risk." Tony shot a look at Thor and for once, his expression was steely. “That's as far as I'm prepared to go, okay?"

Thor considered for a moment. “That is acceptable. But how do I know that you will not change your orders when I am no longer here?"

Tony was impressed, Thor was learning. He hadn't ruled that out. "Fine. Jarvis, those orders can only be countermanded by Thor."

"Understood, sir. I will not disclose any information unless there is a threat, or until my orders are countermanded by Mr. Odinson."

Thor moved to stand beside Tony. "In Asgard, an oath is a serious matter. Death is too good a punishment for an oath-breaker." He walked over to the bar and picked up a small knife.

"Woah, buddy, whatcha doin' there?"

“This is a binding oath that I make with you, Tony Stark, henceforth my brother’s keeper." Thor grabbed Tony's hand and made a small quick cut with the knife. 

“Seriously, what the fuck? Shit, that stings! Is that knife even clean?”

“Man of Iron, do you swear to keep the promises you have made this day?"

“Sure, yeah."

Thor made a cut on his own palm and pressed the two together. “This oath is now bound with our blood."

He turned to Steve. Steve walked over, took the knife from him and swiped it across his palm. He held it out to Thor. "I swear."

Thor grasped it gratefully. “Thank you, my friend."

For a brief moment, he looked at Natasha. She held his gaze for a moment and he turned away. He had no real hope that the spies would cooperate, but in truth, he did not need oaths from them. He needed only three to swear the oath - Stark, as their host, Rogers, as the leader of the group, and one other. 

The man who controlled the spies.

He turned to Fury. The director scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. "No."

To everyone's surprise, Thor nodded. "I understand. I shall tell my father that you did not want to take the blood oath. It can be painful for one who is not a warrior, and at your age..."

Fury rose to his feet. “My age be damned, I’m just not going to…”

Thor held up a hand in protest. "Fear not, I will explain your reluctance to the King. There is no shame in admitting a weakness."

With a fit of temper worthy of his name, Fury grabbed the knife and slid it along his own palm. Thor quickly took his hand and pressed it in his own.

The others exchanged surprised glances. It seemed Thor was a lot trickier than they had given him credit for.

\----------

When Thor went back to his room to tell Loki the good news, he found Bruce sitting cross-legged with his eyes closed and his head down.

"Banner?"

Bruce opened his eyes in surprise and clambered up, stretching out his legs. “Sorry. Must have fallen asleep while I was meditating."

Thor decided it was not the time to ask. "I was looking for Loki."

"He said he wanted to rest. He went to your room to lie down."

"Ah! Thank you. He asked you to stay?"

Bruce looked uncomfortable. "I wasn't sure… That is, I thought…"

Thor's lips tightened. "I see. It has been decided that Loki will be staying here as an honored guest until the Allfather thinks it time for him to return home. I came to tell my brother the good news."

Bruce's eyebrows rose, but he didn't express his surprise beyond that. "Oh… okay. I guess I'll just go back upstairs."

"We will join you in a few moments, after I have spoken to Loki." He watched Bruce leave and went to his bedroom. Loki was buried completely under the covers. Thor pulled back the sheets. Loki didn't wake, but winced at the sudden light and reached to cover his face again.

Thor wondered when his brother last slept. He decided to leave him sleeping. He could tell him of the terms of their agreement later.

\----------

A ripple of conversation immediately died when Thor returned to the main room. He knew they must have been talking about him and his brother. Fury had gone and the others were preparing for dinner.

Bruce broke the uncomfortable silence. "Everything okay? Where’s Loki?"

"He was sleeping. I decided not to disturb him."

"Yeah, well… trying to take over a planet can really take it out of you." 

Thor scowled, but recognized that it was Tony's way of speaking. Tony clapped him on the shoulder. “Relax, big guy. Just a joke. Sit down, food's ready."

Thor sat at the large table and waited for the food to be handed down. “This smells excellent, what is this?"

"It's called gumbo," volunteered Steve. "It was made by the son of an old friend of mine, he just opened up a diner near here."

Thor began to eat it so quickly that Steve was glad he'd bought extra. "Friend Steve, this is wonderful. Although, I am glad Loki did not join us. He does not react well to spicy foods - he would have been unable to eat any of this."

"And wouldn't that have been a tragedy?" muttered Natasha to Bruce, sotto voce. They exchanged a smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay in posting. I had a chapter ready to go, and then I realised I needed to do an expositional chapter explaining the whole scepter situation. Writing this chapter has been like pulling teeth, since the whole scepter/Thanos story isn’t the one I want to write (many other writers have done it better than I could anyway!). Think of this chapter like a plane ride - it’s not great, but it gets you where you want to go…!

Loki was still asleep when Thor returned, and he was still in bed the next morning when Thor emerged from his room, showered, dressed and ready for the day.

Thor paused as he reached for a box of pop tarts. Loki looked as though he hadn’t had a decent meal in months, and pop tarts, though delicious, were hardly very filling. He decided he would make a cooked breakfast for the two of them. He had helped Jane during his first visit, and he was sure he could make scrambled eggs and toast. 

He thought about Jane. He hadn’t called her during his last visit, but that was forgivable - he had been trying to defend the earth against an attack. But now, there was no immediate danger, and he really should call her. Perhaps they could meet? He brightened at the thought. He had no idea how long it would take her to get from New Mexico to New York, but surely it couldn’t take that long? Perhaps a couple of hours, in one of those automobiles? 

It was a shame that, once again, he would not have time to go and see her. He still had to talk to Fury and collect the scepter, and of course, he wanted to spend some time with Loki. 

He smiled at the thought of Jane meeting Loki. He would like them to meet, they had so much in common: their love of books and science, their curiosity about every subject, and of course, their ability to lose themselves completely when immersed in a project. Surely Jane would not judge his brother for what he had done? He felt certain that she would trust in Thor’s assurances, and believe him when he told her of Loki’s innocence...

He felt extremely pleased with himself as he scraped the eggs out of the pan. He thought he had done quite well, for a first attempt. Perhaps the eggs were a little more chewy than they had been when Jane made them, but possibly the eggs in New York were of a lesser quality - it was likely they were not so fresh. And he didn’t know what all the little black bits were or where they had come from, but he was sure it was fine. Overall, he thought it tasted pretty good. Perhaps the dish was a little salty, but then everyone liked salt, didn’t they?

When it was on the table and Loki still hadn’t appeared, Thor decided to go and wake him.

To his surprise, Loki was awake. He was lying in the darkened room, staring at the ceiling.

“Brother, why are you lying here like this? Why do you not get up?”

Loki didn’t even turn his head to look at him. “I’m tired.”

“Surely, you cannot still be tired? You have slept for over twelve hours! Come, I have prepared breakfast for us both!”

Loki didn’t move. “I don’t want anything. I’m not hungry.”

Thor frowned. “Are you certain? I am extremely hungry.”

“You’re always hungry. Eat without me, I’m going back to sleep.”

“But you were not sleeping, and I have cooked breakfast especially for you!” Thor couldn’t help but be a little annoyed that Loki hadn’t even remarked on Thor’s new-found skills in the kitchen.

Loki’s only response was to turn away from Thor, pulling the sheets back over his head. Thor stared for a moment, unsure what to do. Loki certainly seemed weary, but surely - now that he was a mortal - his brother needed to eat? 

He hovered in the doorway for a few minutes longer, then walked back to the kitchen. Perhaps it was good for Loki to catch up on some much needed sleep. Afterwards, when he was fully rested, Thor would cook for them again and make sure that he ate. In the meantime, Thor grabbed a box of pop tarts and a glass of water and placed them on the table beside his brother’s bed.

\----------

He enjoyed the toast and eggs, and finished off the meal with a box of pop tarts. He sat in the silence of the small dining area and thought about his brother. He wished Loki wasn’t so tired and didn’t want to sleep so much. Thor knew he was being selfish, but he had missed Loki - he wanted to talk to him and enjoy the company of the brother he thought he had lost.

He thought of everything that had passed. He hadn’t known what had led to Loki’s actions in Asgard. He had assumed, like most people, that Loki had been jealous of him; and while that had certainly been a part of it, it wasn’t the whole story. 

But when Thor had returned to Asgard, he’d been angry: angry about Loki’s trickery, about the failed coronation and Loki’s lies, angry about being sent to Midgard and - if he was to be completely honest - angry about _leaving_ Midgard and Jane. 

He could have tried talking to Loki. He could have asked his brother why he had acted the way he did, he could have tried to reason with him - but he didn’t. Instead, he had been accusatory, holding on to his temper by the slimmest of threads, and when Loki had begun to goad him, to bait him as he could do so easily, Thor had fallen back into his old habits of attack first, ask questions later.

And because of that, he had lost his brother.

Thor had been shocked when Loki fell ( _let go, his brother had let go!_ ), but even then, he had still been angry. He had attended a feast given to celebrate his return and he could remember only feeling sad that he’d been parted from Jane… Jane! A human he had only known a few days, while his brother of over a thousand years had just plunged to his death!

He shook his head in disgust at the memory.

The next day, when he talked with his parents and learned about everything that had happened, he’d been horrified. They’d been taught their whole lives that the Jotner were monsters, little more than animals, and now to learn that Loki, his Loki, his _brother_ …

That was that night the dreams began. 

He would see Loki’s face - that desperate, pleading expression that looked nothing at all like his irreverent brother - and he would hear those words, and then - 

\- and then -

\- that moment... that oh-so-brief second in time when he had seen Loki’s face change and he knew, he _knew_ what Loki was planning to do, just as he knew there was nothing he could do to stop him…

Often, in his dreams, Thor would lunge for him, trying to catch his outstretched arms, but he would never catch him. Sometimes, Loki would change before him into a blue Jotun monster and Thor, shocked, would be the one that pushed him out into the void. Other times, in the very worst dreams, Thor would slay an evil Jotun brute, only to see the corpse transform back into his brother. Month after month, he was tormented with dreams but never once was he allowed to save him, to pull Loki back from the claws of death.

And then suddenly, like a miracle, Loki was back, alive and on Midgard! Thor had been so happy, so very, very happy; but true to form, that happiness had quickly turned to anger. Loki was alive, and they hadn’t known, and Thor had tortured himself with dreams every night while Loki was alive and massing an army to invade Midgard!

And so, instead of talking to Loki and questioning him, Thor had thrown him to the ground and shouted instead. He coloured as he remembered his first words to the brother he had supposed dead for over a year - ‘where is the tesseract?’ Loki’s first words to him - ‘I have missed you too, brother’ - were a deserved reproof. 

And when Loki had asked him, ‘did you mourn?’, Thor had remembered the feast, and pining for Jane, and he knew that Loki had heard his lie as soon as he uttered it.

He had suspected that Loki’s actions were not completely his own, but he had not questioned further. He had - once again - allowed his temper to control him. Why had he not thought more of Loki’s shouted accusation - ‘I remember you throwing me into an abyss!”? At the time, he hadn’t wondered about it - in his dreams, he _had_ thrown Loki into an abyss, night after night without end - but why had he not considered it later? Why had he not asked Loki about the worlds he had seen, or how he had obtained that evil scepter?

But now he had another chance. The Norns knew he didn’t deserve it, but this time, he would value it. He would not allow his brother to bait him, or distract him, or to evade him. For once, he would show his brother how much he valued him. He would talk to Loki, and Loki would know, once and for all, that Thor loved him. That Thor would always love him, and it didn’t matter if Loki was a Jotun, because, before anything else, Loki was his brother.

He always would be.

\----------

Thor was not used to long periods of introspection, and the silence of the room and the dark turn of his thoughts was making him jittery. He peeked again into Loki’s room, but Loki was fast asleep. He debated for a few moments and then made his decision.

He was a prince of Asgard, and he was here for a reason. He would attend to his duty first, and once that was completed, he could relax and enjoy spending time with his brother and his beloved Jane. 

Determined not to wake Loki, Thor called softly, “Jarvis?”

“Mr. Odinson?”

“I need to speak to Stark and Fury.”

“I will try and arrange that for you.”

After about fifteen minutes, Jarvis returned with his answer. “Mr. Odinson, Mr. Stark has spoken with Director Fury and they will meet with you in the penthouse in one hour.”

“Thank you, Jarvis.”

“My pleasure, sir.”

\----------

“You want WHAT?”

Tony winced at the volume of Fury’s response and poured himself another drink. Seriously, if this was going to be his life now, he really should order more liquor.

Thor seemed not to have noticed. “The scepter. The Allfather wishes to examine it more closely.”

“No.”

“You have not even considered my request!”

“Oh, let me do that now.” The director pretended to think. “ _Hell_ , no!”

“Stark, can you not help me convince him?”

Tony thought for a long moment before replying. “Honestly… I’m with Mad-Eye on this one. Getting us to agree to Reindeer Games staying here was bad enough, but there’s no way we’re just going to give you the scepter. Seriously, not gonna happen.”

“But it is vitally important that I return with it!”

“Sorry, Point Break. You got to play with the tesseract and we got to keep the scepter. Fair’s fair. Gotta learn to share your toys.”

“Man of Iron, you have no idea how important this is.”

Tony leaned back in his chair. “You’re right, I don’t. So why don’t you tell me?”

Thor cursed. “You know I cannot.”

“Then I guess you’re going to have to prepare dear old dad for a disappointment.”

Thor reconsidered his position. He always liked to be straightforward and he considered any form of trickery to be dishonest, but the past few days were proving to be more challenging than he’d originally thought. If Loki had been well, then Thor could have let him handle this, but right now, Thor was on his own.

Well, if Loki couldn’t be there, at least his brother had taught him a trick or two. He remembered the coaching Loki had given him when they had been caught misbehaving as children. 

“I understand.” He lowered his head and allowed his shoulders to slump. “I suppose I believed the bond we shared as shield brothers would allow you to trust me as I trust you.” He could almost hear Loki’s voice in his head - now lift up your chin and open those big, honest eyes and gaze at them like you’re a starving puppy. “Despite everything, I hope you know that you will always have my friendship and my trust. This will in no way affect my vow to protect Midgard.”

Tony stared at him and ran his hands through his hair. “Alright, I give! Just - don’t ever make that face again.”

Fury stared at him, incredulous. “You’re seriously not buying that!”

“Aw, c’mon, Fury, look at him! Shit, I need a drink. When I was a kid, we got this kitten, and one day I forgot to close the door and she got out. We found her three days later, sitting by a dumpster in the pouring rain, and that was the expression she had on her face... I’ll never forget it.”

“We are not giving away the scepter! We still don’t know anything about it ourselves.”

“Wait, what? You’ve had it since we captured Loki, how do you not know anything?” Tony was shocked.

Fury had the grace to look chagrined. “We’re still running tests, but so far we’ve found nothing conclusive.”

“So why not let Thor take it back to Oz and let them look at it?” Tony turned to Thor. “What about a compromise? You take it and run your tests, and when you’re done, you bring it back here and let us know what you’ve found?” Tony would have liked his motives to be entirely altruistic, but once Thor returned with the scepter, Tony was going to run some tests of his own. He wasn’t going to let Shield get in his way again.

Thor brightened. “That would be acceptable.” After all, who knew how long it would take for Odin to be finished with it?

“Fury?”

Fury glared at the others. It wasn’t the worst plan, especially since every report he’d received told him they’d found nothing. At least this way, they’d finally learn something about it. And they had Loki to use as a hostage if they needed to - he could be used as leverage if the Asgardians refused to give it back. “Fine. But I want it back, and I want to know everything you learn about it!” 

Thor smiled serenely. “You have my word.”

\----------

Except, of course, it couldn't be that simple.

Worried that Fury might change his mind, Thor asked if they could collect it immediately. Tony enthusiastically agreed, leading Thor (and, no doubt, Fury) to guess that he wanted to do a little testing of his own before the scepter was taken to Asgard. 

But once they arrived at Shield’s research facility, they quickly discovered that the scepter was missing. 

After the attack on New York, the scepter had been taken to Shield's laboratories. It had arrived safely and it had been signed for; after that, no-one had seen it. Every week, without fail, reports on the scepter had been sent to Fury; but of the scepter itself, and the scientist purported to be sending the reports, there was no sign.

Thor’s one consolation was that Stark's angry indignation matched his own. How, they both demanded of the director, could he have lost such an important artifact? How could no-one have noticed when it was spirited away? 

The situation was potentially catastrophic. They already knew the scepter would be a powerful weapon in the wrong hands. 

The Avengers had a new assignment - 

Find the scepter.

\----------

Thor and the other Avengers worked without stopping, desperately trying to find any lead they could follow. Every so often, one of them would stretch out on one of the office chairs and nap, or fall asleep resting their head against a desk.

It didn’t help. After two and a half days of searching, they were no further along. There were no clues to be found and no trails to follow. 

Thor returned to his apartment late that night, knowing that the next morning he would have to return to Asgard empty-handed.

Loki was asleep in his room. Thor wondered how his brother had spent the past few days. He could see no signs of him about the apartment - no dirty dishes, or books, or…

With a start, Thor realised that he had not checked to see if any books had been delivered for Loki, nor had he ordered any of the other things his brother might need. He sank down on the nearest chair and buried his head in his hands. He had done none of the things he had wanted or planned to do. He would only have a few hours tomorrow morning, and that time should be spent doing whatever he could to at least ensure Loki’s comfort.

He would have no opportunity to speak to Jane, or to have the long overdue heart-to-heart talk he needed to have with his brother.

He had run out of time.


	5. Chapter 5

"Enough of this, Loki, it is time for you to get up."

Loki made a noise in the back of his throat - Thor wasn't entirely sure if it was a groan or a growl.

Thor was worried about his brother. He had checked with Jarvis (ensuring, at the same time, that he was the only one that could do so), and for three days, while Thor hunted for the scepter, Loki had done little more than sleep. 

On the rare occasions that Thor found a few free minutes to return to their rooms, he would find Loki lying in bed with the curtains closed, barely speaking or responding when Thor shook him awake and dragged him to the table to eat. Loki would move the food listlessly around his plate until Thor released him to shuffle back to the bedroom, pull the covers back over his head, and sleep again. Thor would be surprised if they had even exchanged ten words; he wasn’t even sure if Loki had noticed his absence.

Thor had been too busy to do anything other than let him sleep, and by the Norns, he certainly looked as if he needed it, even now; but enough was enough. Thor had to leave in a few hours, and he had yet to have any kind of meaningful interaction with his brother. 

"I mean it, brother. I must leave in a few hours. Today, you are getting up and joining the rest of us for breakfast." If he could do nothing else, he would at least try to ensure that his brother felt comfortable around his friends.

To Thor’s surprise, Loki pushed the sheets away from his head in response. Loki scowled at the sunlight streaming into the room. He seemed to have had a headache for days. “Are you quite mad? Thor, nobody wants to see me at breakfast."

"Because they do not know you, brother. Once they begin to spend more time with you, they will look forward to your company as I do."

"Why, are they all fools like you? Leave me alone, Thor. No-one wants to see me. I am sure they would much rather forget I am here. I know I would," he muttered. He burrowed back into the bed and pulled the sheets back over him.

Thor grabbed them and wrested them away from him. "Loki, since we have arrived you have done nothing but lie abed and sleep. This is to be your new home; you must make an effort to befriend these people and learn their ways."

"Befriend them? I'm not even allowed to speak to them!" Loki snapped. He closed his eyes and turned away. "I don't want to be here, Thor. I just want to go home," he whispered. He sounded very young, and Thor was painfully reminded of his age.

Thor sighed and sat on the bed beside his brother. He reached out and laid a hand on his brother's hair, running a strand through his fingers. Loki buried his head further into the pillow, but moved closer to his brother.

"Please ask fa…" his voice cracked and he swallowed before carrying on, "ask Odin if I can go back."

"You know I cannot. Father sent you here for a reason."

“But I could be more use in Asgard than here. I could help him study the scepter. Where is it, anyway?” He didn’t think it was in their apartment; he felt sure that he would know, even now, without his magic. He hated to think of it being close by, hated even more the thought of touching it again, but if he could convince Odin...

His thoughts were interrupted by Thor’s next words. “It seems it has been mislaid.”

Loki’s jaw dropped in shock and he pushed himself up. “Mislaid? How could they ‘mislay’ such an artifact? Are they complete fools? They must be lying to you, brother!”

“They are not. It seems that it was transported to a Shield facility to be studied, but disappeared shortly after it arrived.”

Loki kicked off the remaining sheets. “We have to find it! You must tell the Allfather to restore my powers, I can help you!”

“The Avengers are searching for it.”

“But I can help! Thor, I could…”

Thor put a restraining hand on his brother’s shoulder. “No, Loki.”

Those words again. At their utterance, Loki’s shoulders slumped. Thor didn’t notice. “I have been helping the mortals with their investigation. Did you not wonder where I have been and what I have been doing these past three days?”

Loki shrugged. He had assumed that Thor had been carousing with his friends or spending time with his new woman; anything rather than spending time with the pathetic Jotun that had formerly been his brother.

He realized Thor was still speaking. “...continue looking while I return to Asgard and report to our father. Heimdall may know where I can find it. In the meantime, I want you to stay here in safety, will you promise me that?”

“Thor…”

“Promise me, Loki.”

Loki opened his mouth to prevaricate, but at the look on Thor’s face, he sighed. He was too tired to argue anyway. “Fine. I promise.”

“Thank you.”

They stayed silent for several minutes, both lost in their thoughts, until Thor stood, pulling Loki up from the bed. "Come brother, it is time to meet the others and break our fast."

Loki sighed, resigned. “Must I?"

"Yes. Take a shower and put on some clean clothes, and then we will go." He put a large hand on Loki's thin shoulder. "You must eat, Loki. You have barely eaten anything since we arrived, and you are mortal now."

"Fine!" Angry at the unwelcome reminder, Loki pulled away from Thor's touch and headed to the bathroom. After a few minutes, Thor heard the sound of the shower running. 

There was an unopened box sitting on the dresser in Loki’s bedroom which, Jarvis had informed him, contained a small selection of clothes that Stark had already ordered for Loki. Pleased that his brother had a few things to choose from, Thor opened the box and pulled out a bundle of neatly folded items in clear bags.

He could tell already that Loki would dislike them - dark grey baggy sweatpants and a selection of short-sleeve T-shirts with sayings on them. Thor began to examine them closer. Despite his friend’s words - and his promise - they told Thor exactly what Stark thought of Loki. Thor frowned as he threw aside ‘Average on a Good Day’, ‘I Suck’ and ‘Kill Me Now’, looking for something Loki could actually wear. 

He would have to speak to Stark before he left and make sure Loki had some decent clothing. He and Loki were sticking to their part of the bargain, and Stark had promised that Loki would be appropriately attired. He shoved the shirts back into the box and hurried through to his own room. After a few minutes of searching, he pulled out a plain T-shirt and a crumpled, long-sleeved hoodie. It would be too big, but at least it wasn't insulting and he knew that Loki hated having his arms exposed.

He returned to the room just as Loki was coming out of the shower, wearing his undershorts and the oversize long-sleeved shirt Thor had given him when they arrived. They were the clothes he had been wearing - and sleeping in - for the past three days.

Thor tossed him the armful of clothes. "Here, wear these."

For a moment, he thought Loki would object. Loki opened his mouth to speak, and then seemed to deflate.

"Fine."

Thor had expected Loki to argue - his brother had always been extremely fastidious about his appearance - but Loki shook out the wrinkled clothes and pulled them on. 

They were far too big for him. Thor had a sudden mental picture of Loki as a child, trying on his big brother's clothes. He looked very young and small, and in that moment, all Thor wanted to do was hold him and keep him safe.

Not that he'd done a great job so far, he reminded himself.

“Ready?"

Loki shrugged and pulled the hood over his head.

"Loki, we are inside. You have no need of a hood."

“My hair is wet. The fabric of the hood will help to dry it." He didn't want to tell Thor the real reason - that he felt safer with the hood; hidden - at least a little - from view.

Perhaps Thor guessed something of his feelings, because he simply nodded and moved to put an arm around his shoulders. "Come then."

\----------

There was a babble of conversation that instantly died when the brothers appeared.

Thor pasted a false smile on his face. "Good morning, friends."

After a pause, Stark broke the silence. "Hey."

Thor decided to act as though nothing was happening. He knew most people - Loki included - thought he was oblivious, but he’d found that a little bluster often achieved much. "We have come to join you for breakfast! Have we arrived in time?"

This time it was Doctor Banner that broke the silence. "We were just about ready to sit down, pull up a couple of chairs."

Thor saw Barton scowl at Banner, and Banner give an answering shrug. He knew Loki would have seen it too, but he avoided looking at him. Instead, he put a hand on his brother’s back and guided him to the table. 

“Sit here." Thor pushed him into a chair and turned to the others. "Can I help?"

Steve Rogers gave something that wasn’t quite a smile. "No, we're good. Take a seat, it'll just be a minute."

Thor pulled out a chair next to Loki and sat down. The others filtered to the table slowly. Barton sat as far away from the brothers as he could. Rogers gave the archer’s shoulder a supportive squeeze as he sat down. 

Stark slid in at the other end of the table, beside Loki. He gestured to the hood obscuring Loki’s face. "Expecting rain?"

Loki continued to study his plate, and didn’t respond.

They began to serve themselves in unaccustomed silence. Loki kept his eyes down and his hands in his lap while Thor piled food onto each of their plates.

After a few minutes, they began to talk as they passed around the food. 

Thor heard Barton's voice rise above the others. "Hey, what happened to the biscuits? I thought you said you made plenty!"

"I made enough for everybody to have three… Oh. Right." Banner's voice trailed away, and the color rose in Loki's cheeks as he looked at the mound of biscuits Thor had stacked in front of him. 

"Take them, I haven't touched them." Loki’s voice was barely above a whisper.

The archer glared at him. "I don't want anything from you!"

Loki held himself very still and kept his eyes down. Thor gripped his shoulder. “The fault was mine. I served my brother. You may have my biscuits, if you will take them."

Barton glared at Thor and Loki while Banner leaned over and put his own biscuits on the archer’s plate. "Here, have mine."

Barton scraped back his chair. “Don't bother, I’ve lost my appetite." He strode angrily out of the room. The others watched in an awkward silence.

Predictably, Stark was the first to break it. "Well, that was fun. You take all the bacon as well, or is there any left for me?"

\----------

Loki sat at the table, his face flaming. He felt them watching his every move. He didn't want their food, it would taste like dust in his mouth. Thor kept turning to encourage him to eat, so he pushed the food around his plate with his fork in an attempt to look as if he was eating.

After what seemed like a million years, the captain stood up. "Is everyone finished?"

Everyone began to move, until Thor's voice sounded above the rest. "Brother, you have not finished!"

They all turned to stare at him.

"I want no more."

"But you have hardly eaten anything!"

"I'm not hungry."

Natasha Romanov gave a little sniff. “Shame you didn't think of that earlier, when you took the last biscuits."

Thor's expression darkened. "Loki, go to our rooms."

“Thor…"

"Brother, leave now!"

After a brief moment of hesitation, Loki turned and hurried out.

Thor surveyed his teammates. He felt his temper rising. "You gave me your word - your _oaths_ \- that you would treat my brother with respect. Instead, you provide him with clothes that are offensive and you insult him to his face. I must return to Asgard today, and if you cannot keep your word, then I will take my brother back with me."

The widow narrowed her eyes. “Is that supposed to be a threat?"

"I do not threaten you, my lady. But Odin has requested a service of you and you agreed to it. It is you that have broken your oaths, not I, and not Loki. Many in the nine realms would be happy to have Odin as their ally and in their debt - but not you, it seems."

Rogers glared at the others. "I'm sorry, Thor. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again. And I'm sorry about the clothes, I didn't know." He shot an angry look towards Tony, who threw his hands in the air. 

"Fine! I may have been a little drunk when I was ordering them. I'll buy him some more if you tell me what he’d like. Better still, you can come to the store with me and pick ’em out."

"I have no time, I must return to Asgard."

Doctor Banner stepped forward. "Why don't I talk to him and see what he wants? Would that work?"

"I suppose that would be acceptable. I’m afraid I have had no time to order any of the things he will need. Thank you, friend."

Steve looked relieved. "Nat?"

"I don't plan on apologizing, if that's what you're asking. But I won't be rude to him again, unless he’s rude to me first."

Even Thor seemed to understand that was the best he could hope for. He gave a sharp nod, but added coldly, "Uncivil behavior towards my brother is disrespectful to me and to my family, and, by extension, to all of Asgard. I would have you remember that."

\----------

Loki was sitting staring out of the window when he returned.

"I have spoken to them. If you are civil to them, they will be civil in turn. And Doctor Banner will visit you later today to help you choose some new things."

Loki nodded in silent assent. There was no point telling Thor that he was wrong, that they were never going to treat him as anything other than an enemy. "When do you leave?"

"I fear it must be soon."

Loki bit his lip and turned away.

"I will be back before you know it. And when I return, I know you will all be good friends. Give them a chance, Loki. They have promised they will try, and you must also." He felt the pull of dark energy calling him. "It is time, I must hurry. Will you walk with me?"

Loki walked at his brother's side as they returned to the others in the main room. Thor smiled tightly, remembering their most recent conversation. He would have given much to have more time. "Friends, I have come to bid you farewell. I must leave you now."

The Avengers crowded around him, Loki once again stepping into the background until Thor walked out onto the balcony. Then they moved away and Thor reached out for his brother. 

Loki had to fight a sudden urge to throw himself at his brother's feet and force him to take him home. “Will you tell mother - Frigga -” he quickly corrected, “that I am sorry?”

Thor placed a hand behind his neck and pulled him forward for a hug. “I will tell our _mother_ ,” he emphasized the word, “but I am sure she already knows and has forgiven you. Take care of yourself, brother. I will return soon." Then he lifted his hammer and flew into the clouds.

Loki watched Thor leave, his heart sinking. When he could no longer see a sign of him, he turned to face the others - the Avengers. They glared at him suspiciously, no longer hiding their hostility now that Thor was gone. Loki stiffened. He had suffered worse than a few belligerent looks. Pulling himself to his full height, he pushed past them and walked to his room.

\----------

Barton was closing the drawer of the freezer as he walked into his apartment.

Loki froze. "What are you doing in here?"

Barton gave him an insincere smile. “Relax. I was just stocking your kitchen with food. That way, you don't need to worry about eating with us anymore."

"Alright." Loki eyed him warily. Something about the archer’s manner made him suspicious. “If you’ve finished, you can go.”

Barton straightened, his smile gone. “Don’t worry, your highness, I wasn’t planning on staying to visit.” Before he left the kitchen, he headed to a drawer and removed three or four sharp knives. “Probably best to remove temptation, don’t you think?”

Loki felt his temper rising but said nothing. He stayed where he was, digging his fingernails into his palms. 

Barton slowly made his way to the door. Loki forced himself not to flinch as the archer invaded his personal space, their faces only inches apart. “I don’t know how you managed to convince everyone in Asgard that you’re innocent in all of this, but you’re not fooling any of us. We’ll be watching you.”

Loki forced his lips into a sneer. “I’m flattered.”

“Don’t be. You’re nothing, remember that. We’ve already defeated you once and we can do it again. Hell, we’d even enjoy it!” He left, slamming the door behind him. 

Loki walked over to the fridge and pulled open the door. There were a few strange Midgardian vegetables, but nothing suspicious. Perhaps Barton had been telling the truth and simply wanted Loki to stay in his own apartment - something that Loki was very happy to do.

He opened the door to the freezer. He saw nothing out of place, just a selection of frozen meals with names he didn’t recognize. He pulled out a few of the boxes to read the labels: Kung Pao Chicken, Ghost Chili, Beef Vindaloo, Green Thai Curry, Chile Rellanos… He didn’t recognize any of the names, but of course, he didn’t expect to. 

He put the boxes back inside and sat down. It didn't matter. He wasn't hungry anyway.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint uses a phrase that I despise - I apologise on his behalf for the vulgarity of it. I tried to change it a dozen times, but it turns out, that's what he wanted to say. He's angry.

The others were washing and drying the dishes when Clint returned to the penthouse. “Thor gone?” He’d heard the sound of the bifrost.

“Yep.”

He gave a small huff that could mean anything from annoyance to satisfaction. Under the guise of putting away a glass, Natasha made her way to his side. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t even know how to answer that. The Avengers greatest enemy - the one that had taken over his mind and forced him to do all of those terrible things - was here, in the tower, living among them. He rubbed a hand over his face. “I guess.”

“I saved you some food, are you hungry?”

He gave her a weak smile. “Sure. Thanks.”

He sat at the counter while she re-heated some bacon and eggs. “Eggs might be a little rubbery, but I’m sure you’ve had worse.”

He managed a grin. “That’s for damn sure.”

Steve handed him a cup of coffee. “Want some toast?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Thanks.”

He appreciated what they were doing, trying to make him feel better. He felt safe around them, it was as if they understood. Of course, they didn’t - not really. They might have, if he told them about the thoughts that ate away at his mind day and night. But he would never tell them what was really bothering him - never. 

They’d all supported him and been sympathetic. Even the people he’d recruited hadn’t blamed him, even though, like him, they'd been forced to do things they’d regretted. They’d even formed a small support group, helping each other deal with the guilt, as well as with the crippling migraines they’d suffered for weeks afterwards. Those were better now, at least. Neither he or anyone he knew had suffered a migraine in weeks, and Shield had given them full medicals - including every kind of scan available - to be sure there were no lasting effects. The only one of them that still seemed to suffer from residual symptoms was Selvig, whose mind had broken down after the experience. Shield was paying for him to be treated at one of their best psychiatric facilities.

But even among the others that had been mind controlled, he’d never talked about the one thing that bothered him the most.

The thing that kept him up at night.

He knew he should tell his friends. They’d probably make a big speech about missed opportunities and regrets, then tell him their own stories - of all of them, only Steve seemed to have an unblemished reputation. But how could he tell them, when he would never truly admit it to himself?

So he smiled with as much warmth as he could muster, dug into his breakfast, and thought of Loki getting sick from the food in his apartment. _I hope he gets the shits for a week_ , Clint thought savagely, and he enjoyed a stab of satisfaction.

\----------

Loki was sitting in a chair by the window. 

The apartment seemed very quiet without Thor. He wondered if the windows and walls were soundproofed. He knew, of course, that there were other people in the building, and outside he could see traffic and people - but he could hear nothing. There wasn’t even the ticking of a clock. The only sound he could hear was that electrical hum that seemed to be so much a part of Midgard. It was one of the things he remembered clearly from his last visit, although he couldn’t remember being so bothered by it before. Now it put his nerves on edge; that sound that wasn’t really silence but only the absence of noise. It didn’t feel like peace.

He should look around and check for surveillance equipment and traps. He didn’t think Barton could have done much in the few minutes that Loki had been saying goodbye to Thor, but he couldn’t be sure.

But he was tired, and if they wanted to spy on him, surely it was easy enough... Thor had told him of their promise, but Midgardians had no honor, didn’t Thor know that yet? Even now, the spy in the wall - Jarvis - must be recording everything he did. What would a few more devices matter?

His head began to pound again, and he realized how hot it was in the apartment. Were they raising the temperature to see what he would do? He experienced a sudden rush of fear. He felt exposed, alone and vulnerable. If they wanted to hurt him, they could. There would be nothing he could do to stop it.

He moved closer to the window pane and put his hand against the glass. It felt cold to the touch. He was conscious of feeling removed, separate from everything, like a princess in a tower from a child’s fairy tale. He smiled bitterly; he was a prince in a tower, wasn’t that close enough?

And just like the princess in the stories, he was forced to sit and wait to be rescued by the handsome prince - although in this case, it was his brother. He had always wondered why the maidens had waited so patiently, why they hadn’t tried to escape long before the handsome knight appeared. Well, he supposed, he knew now. It was because they were powerless to do anything else.

The life below him seemed so far away... another world. It was a lantern show, without sound. A bird flew close to the window and he watched, transfixed, as it swooped in front of him and whirled away. He followed its path as it flew into the distance and became nothing more than a speck, but still he tracked it as he watched it disappear…

\----------

“...ki… Can you hear me, Loki? Loki, can you hear me?”

He gave a start and looked up in confusion - where was he? What was this place?

His eyes darted around in panic; he could see little of the dark room, but it was unfamiliar to him. Was this another of The Other’s tricks?

His breath caught in his throat and he pressed himself farther back into the chair…

The chair… _The chair?_

The chair was wrong. There had never been a chair, not in this place, not…

“Loki?”

A voice penetrated his consciousness and he recognized it; it was a spy. It had a name, he knew it... it was… _Jarvis!_

The tower. Thor had brought him here - or was it Odin? He couldn’t remember... but he was in the tower. He was sitting at the window of the tower and the spy in the wall was calling him.

“Loki? Can you…”

“Yes! Yes, I can hear you.”

He stared out the window. It was dark outside and the room was cold. How long had he been sitting there? 

“Was I sleeping?” he murmured. He hadn’t expected to receive an answer, but the voice - _Jarvis_ \- answered.

“You were not sleeping, sir. Should I call Doctor Banner?”

Loki looked up in shock. If he hadn’t been sleeping, then what had he been doing for all that time? He felt stiff and uncomfortable, but he wasn’t slouching in the chair; he had been sitting upright the whole time.

“Doctor Banner called approximately two hours ago, but left when there was no response. Shall I ask him to return?”

“No! No. I’m fine.” He was fine. A bit of a headache, that was all. It was nothing more than that. He was tired; the past few days had been difficult. It made sense that he might sleep, even sitting up. And anyway, how would Jarvis know if he had been sleeping or not?

Although, if he had been sleeping, then why was he so tired now?

He pushed the thought away. He was tired now for the same reason he had been tired for the past three days; because he was exhausted. He swayed a little as he stood, stiff from so many hours in the same position, and made his way slowly to bed.

\----------

Jarvis watched as Loki sat by the window, his eyes growing distant and foggy. His posture was straight and his eyes remained open and blinking; he wasn’t asleep. Jarvis found himself with a dilemma - he felt that Loki was in need of medical attention, but Jarvis had been forbidden to intervene. Jarvis’ instructions had been clear - he could not report anything that happened in Loki’s apartment unless it threatened a life, and this - though a matter of great concern - clearly did not.

He decided to call to the Asgardian, to try to coax Loki back from wherever his mind had gone. Hopefully, Loki would agree to let him call Doctor Banner, who would either know what was wrong or suggest someone who could help.

As an AI, of course he couldn’t feel relief, but he experienced a sense of accomplishment when Loki finally responded to his call. A sense that disappeared when Loki refused medical help.

His sensors tracked Loki as he walked to the bedroom. He wished he could run scans to determine what might be wrong, but even if he could, he wouldn’t be allowed to share the results with anyone but Loki.

Loki threw off his borrowed clothes and pulled on the sleep shirt Thor had given him. He was asleep within minutes.

At some point during the night, Jarvis sensed movement. His cameras focused in on the fingers of Loki’s left hand as it began to twitch and curl into the shape of a claw. As he continued to sleep, his body began to jerk and spasm, his mouth pulled into a rictus grin.

The seizure lasted almost three minutes. When it was over, Loki’s body relaxed and he returned to normal sleep. He had not woken during the episode.

And Jarvis could do nothing.

\----------

Bruce Banner didn’t get back to Loki’s apartment until 11.45 the next morning. He knocked, feeling a little guilty that he’d left it so late. 

After waiting a few minutes, he knocked again. When there was still no response, he called out, “Hey, Jarvis? I’m here to see Loki. Is this a bad time?”

Jarvis’ dry voice replied, “One moment, Doctor Banner. I’ll tell him you’re here.”

The Loki that opened the door a few minutes later was not at all the Loki he was expecting. This Loki was yawning, bleary eyed, with tousled hair standing in all directions. He was wearing an oversize T-shirt that looked and smelled like he’d slept in it, and the same sweatpants he had worn to breakfast the day before. Despite knowing his age, Bruce thought he looked like a teenager.

“Sorry, is this a bad time? I can come back later.”

Loki scowled. “I was sleeping.”

Apparently, he was acting like a teenager as well. Banner replied mildly, “It’s almost noon. It’s natural to assume you’d be awake.”

Loki stared at him in surprise. “I didn’t notice,” he said grudgingly. He suddenly seemed to notice how he looked and he remembered he should act like a prince of Asgard. “Would you excuse me for a moment? I’ll be right back.”

“Sure.” Banner stood awkwardly by the door while Loki disappeared back into the bedroom. “Would you like me to start some coffee brewing?”

Loki reappeared with brushed hair and the T-shirt replaced with the hoodie, although this time, he left the hood off. “Coffee?”

“Yeah. Thor didn’t tell you about it? It’s something we drink here to start the day. Thor likes it.”

Loki shrugged. “If you wish.”

Deciding that, if nothing else, it would give him something to do while they talked, Bruce went to the small kitchen and began to fill the coffee machine. “Thor asked me to stop by, did he tell you?”

“Yes.”

Bruce was glad that he spent so much time controlling his temper. He was here on Thor’s behalf to help Loki, and Loki was acting as though it was a huge imposition on his time. He took a deep breath. “Milk and sugar?”

“I don’t know, do I?” Loki replied acidly.

Well of course he didn’t. Bruce added two large spoonfuls of sugar. Thor liked his black and sweet, so perhaps Loki would like it the same way. And Loki could definitely use a little sweetening up, he thought wryly. 

Loki watched him suspiciously as he bustled about the kitchen. After a few minutes, Bruce handed him a mug and began to sip at his own.

Loki sniffed it; it had a warm, comforting aroma. Encouraged, he took a tentative sip. He immediately made a face and thrust the cup away from him. Bruce gave a small smile. “I guess it’s an acquired taste.”

Loki grimaced at the bitter brew and wondered why anyone would try to acquire a taste like that.

Bruce put down his own mug. “Thor wanted me to come and see what you needed - clothes, books, that kind of thing.”

Loki kept his face impassive. He would take as little as possible from these people. He knew Odin hadn’t thought of giving them anything for his care and he doubted Thor had thought about it either. Since he wouldn’t be allowed to get a job and earn anything, he wasn’t going to be indebted to them by accepting their charity. “Thank you, I have everything I require.”

Bruce frowned. “Thor said you needed clothes?”

Loki made a gesture. “As you see, I have them.”

“Aren’t they a little large?”

Loki raised an eyebrow and leaned back against his chair. “Since I’m unlikely to be going anywhere or meeting anyone, what does it matter?”

Bruce couldn’t really find an argument against that. “What about books? You need something to keep you occupied or you’ll go crazy sitting around all day with nothing to do.”

“Since the general consensus seems to be that I’m - what was the expression? - ‘as crazy as a bag full of cats’,” Bruce felt the color rush to his face, “how could I possibly go any crazier?”

Embarrassed, Bruce decided that he’d done his best and fulfilled his promise to Thor. “Okay, then. I guess I’ll leave you alone.”

Loki smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes. “Then it seems I must apologize for telling an untruth. Apparently, you can give me something I want.”

With his face flaming and his temper rising, Bruce beat a hasty retreat. Loki watched him go. 

Part of him desperately wanted to run after him and call him back. He would love to have something to read - anything - just to occupy his mind and stop it running in circles. But he knew how it would work. If he showed his weakness and let them know how desperately he wanted something, they would use that need against him. It was a favorite technique of The Other - the carrot and the stick. Loki could hear his voice now - _‘We have given you food and water - even clothing! It is not unreasonable to expect that now you will do something for us!’_.

If he could hold out and resist in that other prison, then he could certainly do so here. By anyone’s standards, this was a luxurious prison. There was water and there was food; there was even a bed and a place to bathe. He needed nothing else.

\----------

When he had thought himself an Asgardian, Loki could easily survive for weeks without food, so he was surprised when only a couple of days later he realized he needed to eat. His stomach was constantly grumbling and his head felt light; when he stood, the world began to spin around him.

He opened the fridge and looked at the food inside. He recognized onions and garlic, but nothing else. There was a selection of red, orange and green vegetables of various sizes. He took one out and washed it. Taking it over to the chopping board, he cut off a small piece and bit into it. 

An unpleasant sensation hit his tongue and he spat it out. He rushed over to the sink to try to wash away the taste; it didn’t work and his mouth felt hot and itchy. Frustrated and annoyed, he threw the pieces away. He hated not knowing what any of these things were.

He took another look at the boxes in the freezer compartment and picked up the one that said ‘Ghost Chili’. The name seemed promising - chili; something cold would feel soothing after the last thing he tried. 

He had seen Thor use the microwave a couple of times but he’d never really paid attention. Now that he looked more closely, he couldn’t help smiling. He’d noticed that everything in the apartment had instructions clearly taped to the wall beside it, but the signs by the microwave outdid them all. There must have been more than a dozen, over half of them warning of the dangers of putting metal objects inside. There were so many that Loki almost felt tempted to try, if only to see what would happen (although the presence of three separate fire extinguishers surrounding it gave him an idea).

There was even a chart showing pictures and samples of different types of metal, just in case anyone was confused. Not anyone, he thought, Thor. He felt a sudden rush of longing for his brother. People often underestimated Thor’s intelligence and it was mainly because of things like this. So often, Thor would blunder in, unwilling to listen to anyone else and always believing that he knew best. He was a lot like Odin in that respect. He wondered how many times Stark had tried to instruct Thor, and how many microwaves Thor had destroyed.

He followed the instructions on the box - making sure there was no foil, as five separate signs reminded him - and put the container inside, taking care to stir it midway. After a few minutes, he pulled it out, hot and steaming.

It smelled good at least, he thought. He took it to the table and began to eat. He ate quickly, greedily, suddenly realizing how hungry he was. At first, he couldn’t taste much of it - his mouth was still quite numb from the vegetable he’d bitten into.

Then his mouth began to burn and his face started to prickle. 

He pushed his chair back. He felt the heat rise in his face and the itching in his mouth became unbearable. He was sweating profusely and bile rose in his throat. There was no time to get to the bathroom, he ran to the sink and began to vomit.

His throat constricted and he began to fight for breath. He felt dizzy. A long way away, he heard Jarvis’ voice but he couldn't understand what it was saying - he was too busy trying to breathe.

He fell to the floor clutching at his throat.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to add this tag in the original post, but wanted to mention - in case anyone is wondering why it's taking so long - the romance portion will begin around chapter ten. We just have to break Loki down a little more first...

Tony, Bruce and Steve were watching a movie when Jarvis interrupted them. "Excuse me, gentlemen. Loki requires immediate medical assistance." 

Bruce stood up immediately. "What's wrong?" 

“Signs indicate a food allergy, Doctor Banner. It is a matter of great urgency, sir."

"Okay, I’m coming." 

Steve stood up as well, pulling Tony with him. "We'll go with you, just in case."

"Fine."

Together, they rushed downstairs. Jarvis unlocked the door for them. Loki was lying on the ground, his face red and swollen, his lips tinged with blue.

“Shit!" Bruce knelt next to the former god. “He's unconscious and barely breathing. Tony, call for an ambulance! Steve, help me get him to medical."

Steve lifted Loki as if he was a rag doll, and the group hurried to the infirmary. 

"Lay him down there. Elevate his legs." Bruce began to examine him. “Dammit, we need to intubate!" 

Bruce ran to a drawer and rummaged through the supplies. He hurried back and tossed something to Steve. “Steve, inject this into his thigh."

"What? How? I don't…"

"Just do it, Steve. Now!"

Bruce tilted Loki's head back and with a light in one hand and a tube in the other. Within minutes, he had inserted the manual resuscitator. "Okay, his breathing's stabilized. Did you inject him?"

"Yeah. Did I do it right?" 

Bruce wasn't used to seeing the captain look so uncertain. "Yeah, that looks good.”

The door opened and Tony came into the room. “Ambulance is on it's way."

Bruce let out a breath. “Did they say how long?"

"About eight minutes."

“Damn."

\---------- 

They waited in silence, Bruce monitoring Loki constantly, until Tony eventually asked, "How long has it been?"

Steve checked his watch. "About fifteen minutes. They should have been here by now. How's he doing?"

"Doesn’t seem to be getting any worse…"

Jarvis interrupted him. “Sir, there are three people at the door requesting entrance."

“The paramedics? What are you waiting for? Let 'em in!"

“They are from Shield, sir."

All three looked up in surprise. “Shield? Tell them to come back later, we’re kinda busy right now.”

“They say they are here to offer medical assistance.”

They exchanged looks.

Tony’s expression was wary when he said, “Send them up, Jarvis."

After five minutes that felt like an hour, the door opened and three people walked in. One was carrying a doctor's bag. The other two were armed with discrete firearms.

Tony crossed his arms. "What is this? Where's the ambulance?"

The woman with the doctor's bag walked over to the bed. "Fury sent us instead."

Steve stared at her, incredulous. “Instead?”

Tony pushed his way in front of Steve. “Wait a goddamn minute, you guys are hacking my phone?”

“Not important right now, Tony.” Bruce felt himself starting to get angry. "What do you mean he cancelled the ambulance? Loki needs immediate medical attention!"

She lifted her bag. “That's why I'm here."

She began to examine the figure on the bed. "I don't know why you were worried. You have him stabilized and it looks like he's beginning to respond to treatment. Breathing is returning to normal, I think we can go ahead and remove that tube now. Blood pressure's still a little low, do you have any saline?"

Tony pointed and she began to set up a bag.

Bruce spoke softly between gritted teeth. "Why are you here? Loki should be taken to a hospital." He saw Steve and Tony exchange a concerned glance and he couldn't blame them. He was holding onto his temper by a thread.

"We were told the prisoner is not supposed to leave the tower."

"He's not a prisoner!"

She shrugged. "But you had an agreement that he wouldn't leave the tower?"

Tony thought he should intervene before Bruce decided to hulk out and remodel his medical lab. "Yeah, he's not supposed to go for take out or catch a movie, but this is a little different, dontcha think?"

Again, she shrugged. "For all we know, he could have been faking it just to get out of here. Anyway, it doesn't matter now; he's no longer critical."

None of them choose to mention that they had experienced similar concerns.

Bruce took a few breaths and counted to ten. Prisoner or not, cancelling the ambulance had been a risk. "Loki could have died."

"But he didn't. You should be congratulated, Doctor Banner. You may not be a medical doctor, but you did everything right. If you're concerned, I’d suggest you keep him under observation for the next couple of days. There's always a slight chance of a biphasic anaphylaxis - that is, a recurrence of symptoms - with something like this." 

She began to pack away her things as Bruce stared at her in disbelief. IF they were worried about him! Of course they were worried about him, he was a human being…

He caught himself in the middle of the thought. Loki may be a human being now, but before that, he’d been an alien god with magical powers and had tried to take over the world. He realized the woman was talking again. 

"...free to call me if you have any further problems. This is my number." She smiled a predatory smile at Steve. “The number for my direct line is on the back,” she added flirtatiously. She placed a card on a table beside the door as she walked out, flanked by the agents.

The three Avengers shared a look. Steve looked as though he’d been punched in the stomach.

Tony ran his hands through his hair. "Well… damn!"

Yep, thought Bruce. That about summed it up.

\----------

Loki opened his eyes. He felt terrible. On top of his aching head, his throat hurt as though someone had filled it with razor blades.

"Hey there."

Startled, Loki turned to see Banner sitting beside his bed. No… wait, this wasn't his bed - where was he? He pushed himself up and looked around. He didn’t recognize the room.

"How are you feeling?"

He forced himself to speak. "Fine." He winced at the pain in his throat.

“Throat hurts?"

He nodded. He saw movement behind him and Rogers handed him a carton of apple juice. He took it gratefully. As he reached out, he noticed a piece of fabric stuck over a vein inside his elbow. "Where am I? What happened?" 

"You’re in the medical lab, you had an allergic reaction to something you ate. We got to you just in time, your airway was closing and we had to intubate. That’s why your throat hurts."

"Intubate?"

The door opened as he asked the question. "Intubate. It means Bruce had to put a tube in your throat to help you breathe."

"Why?"

"It looks as though you suffered an anaphylactic attack because of something you ate,” Banner explained.

His words made no sense to Loki. 

Stark came to stand beside his bed. "Yeah, Bambi, what the hell were you eating?"

Loki took a moment to think. "It was something I found in the freezer.” He tried to remember the name. Why was he finding it so hard to think? “Um…,” something cool, he remembered. “It was… cold. No, wait!” He felt relief as the name came back to him. “It was chili. Ghost chili."

Stark stared at him. "Ghost Chili? You ate ghost peppers?"

Loki frowned. "Peppers? No… I told you, there was a container in my freezer labelled "Ghost Chili". I thought it would be cooling. I’d just tasted one of your vegetables and it burned my mouth."

Stark and Banner exchanged a look. Banner cleared his throat. “Didn't you find it hot to eat? Thor said you don't like spicy food…"

Loki felt a rush of irritation. If he was allowed to know nothing about them, why should they know everything about him? "I didn't notice at first. As I said, I’d just bitten into something that left my mouth feeling numb. Then I began to feel strange and…" he swallowed, “I’m sorry, may I have more to drink?" 

The apple juice wasn't helping much with his throat, but it was better than nothing.

“Sure." Rogers disappeared for a moment and returned with another carton.

Loki took a long drink and considered what they’d just told him. “So it was the food that made me sick?"

"’Fraid so. Feeling better now?"

Loki tried to process what they'd told him, and then it hit him… _The food_. He'd been poisoned by the food in his apartment. 

The food they had provided for him.

Carefully, he placed his drink carton on the table beside him. "What is this?" He pointed to the fabric on his arm. 

“That?" Banner frowned for a moment. "Oh! That's a Band-Aid. We had to give you fluids intravenously - that means straight into a vein."

Loki stared in horror at his arm. They had injected something into his body. What it was - and what it might do - he had yet to discover. He felt sick, but knew it was important to act as though he still trusted them; for some reason, they were choosing to lie about their motives. "Can I go back to my room?"

Banner nodded. "If you feel up to it. One of us will stay with you though, just to make sure you're alright."

“No!” he almost shouted. At their surprised looks, he lowered his voice and tried to sound calm. "No, thank you. I'll be fine. I'm better now." 

He didn't want them near him, not if they were trying to poison him - perhaps even kill him.

Banner shook his head. "Sorry, but someone should be there, just in case. I'm happy to stay, if that's okay with you?"

He was too tired to argue. They were sending the monster to guard him, but it didn't seem as though they were going to hurt him again today. Today, at least, they had decided to save him.

It reminded him of the games The Other had played - kind, one minute, brutal, the next; sometimes, his greatest tormentor and others, his only friend.

He thought he had escaped such tortures. Instead, he had simply traded one hell for another. And here, as in that other place, there was nothing he could do to stop them, whatever they were planning. 

"Very well," he answered, resigned. 

\------------

When they got back to his apartment, Loki went straight to bed, with instructions to call Banner if he needed anything or felt unwell. He nodded, in a way that could be taken for assent, instead of acknowledgement - he had promised to behave as a prince of Asgard, and he would not be uncivil until he was forced to it. He would play this game with them, until they revealed their true faces. 

As he climbed between the sheets he could hear Stark and Banner talking in the kitchen. Possibly, they were planning their next attack on him. He didn’t try to eavesdrop, he was too tired. Whatever their next attack was, he would meet it as best he could and try to stay alive, as he had been doing for so long. 

As he drifted into sleep, he thought how funny it was; all of this had started because he had tried to die, and tonight he had almost died again. It seemed that he was doomed to be unsuccessful at both living and dying.

\----------

Bruce and Tony were clearing the food out of Loki's kitchen.

"What have you got there?"

“Thai curry, Kung Pao, Vindaloo… You?"

"Jalapenos, chili peppers, habaneros… and holy crap, look at this!" Tony held something up.

Bruce reached out for it. "What is it?"

“Scotch Bonnet. Tried to eat one once on a dare and thought I was gonna die."

“Shit. Clint?"

“That would be my guess."

“Should we tell Fury?"

“Pretty sure that’s what Steve’s doing right now. But I don't think he'll lose any sleep over it, do you? Loki's fine now."

"Clint could've killed him, Tony. Loki nearly died!"

"Yeah, but he didn't, and that’s what Fury will focus on." Tony ran his hands through his hair. "I say we let Steve deal with this."

"Got my vote."

They cleared everything out of his fridge and freezer. Bruce began to go through the rest of the kitchen. "Looks like that's the only food in here. Either he and Thor have already eaten everything, or Clint cleared the place out so Loki would only have this stuff to eat." He pulled out an empty box of pop tarts. "Jarvis, can you order some groceries for Loki?"

"Certainly, sir. Do you have anything particular in mind?"

"Just get some basics and anything you think he'd like. He could do with gaining a little weight."

"Yeah, he's kind of scrawny. Didn't think they made them that way on Asgard. Doesn't look much like Thor, that's for damn certain."

"Adopted, remember?"

Tony clicked his fingers. “That's right, I forgot. Makes sense, they're nothing alike."

Bruce looked thoughtful. "Wonder how that works, adopting a kid when you're royal?"

Tony grinned. "Great question, we should ask him!"

Bruce grinned back. “Perhaps it’s better if we don’t?"

\----------

It was late by the time they’d finished cleaning out the kitchen. It wasn’t enough to simply throw everything away, Bruce insisted they clean off the chopping boards, counter tops and fridge. 

Finally, Tony threw his cleaning rag into the rubbish bag. “Remind me again why I’m doing this? I pay people to do this shit for me. Or build robots.”

Bruce finished scrubbing out the sink and wiped his hands. ‘You’re doing this because you haven’t yet invented a robot that can do this properly, and I don’t think it would be a good idea to get a civilian in to do this, do you?”

“Well, I don’t think it was a good idea for me to do it! I need a drink. And a bath. Jarvis, remind me to give all of our cleaners a pay raise.”

“Noted, sir.”

“So, you're really going to sleep here tonight?’

“I don’t see why not. He’s unlikely to try anything after the day he’s had, and even if he did, I think the Hulk would be able to deal with it, don’t you?”

After Tony left, Bruce checked on Loki once again. The former god seemed to be sleeping peacefully, so he headed for the sofa and laid out the pillow and blanket Tony had supplied him with.

\----------

Loki lay still until he saw the light disappear from under the door. Even afterwards, he only allowed himself to relax a little; who knew who might be watching from the camera in the ceiling? Of course, they promised Thor that they wouldn't spy on him, but lying to Thor had never been very difficult. Loki didn't imagine the oaths of the Avengers were worth much.

His throat still hurt and he desperately wanted a glass of water, but he stayed where he was. He had suffered worse, and they would almost certainly return if they knew he was awake.

Loki rolled over in bed and wondered what he could do. He had promised Thor that he would stay in Avengers tower until the Allfather saw fit. He couldn't leave. He didn't care if the Avengers never honored their oaths, he always did. He was no oath-breaker, even if he was a liar (although he would dispute that; ironically, he generally told fewer lies than most people he knew. It was telling the truth that always seemed to upset everyone).

But staying here would mean pain, and he didn't think he could endure any more torture; he _couldn't_. 

And he hated the uncertainty, the waiting. In the time before, The Other would watch as his minions made Loki scream with pain. Then he would stop them and help him back to his cell, and Loki would be so grateful, so thankful that it had stopped that he wanted to cling to The Other as his only savior…

...his only friend.

He remembered holding on to The Other like a lifeline and promising him he would do anything, _anything_ …

Bile rose in his throat and he only had enough time to lean over the side of the bed before he vomited.

“Loki, are you alright? Should I call Doctor Banner?"

Loki took a moment to regain control before saying, "No. No, please don't." He sat up and wiped his mouth. "I'm quite well."

He climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom to get a rag to clean up his mess, his thoughts racing the whole time.

He thought he might go mad if he had to go through that again, and yet it seemed as though he must. But he would try to be stronger this time. He would not break so easily and he would not walk into the traps they laid for him. They were poisoning his food; therefore, he would try not to eat anything they gave him. This mortal body was weak, but he was used to going without food. The trick was to eat something, not to go without entirely. There might be things that were safe; fruit, perhaps, that he could wash thoroughly first. There wasn't much they could do to an apple, surely? Although something could be injected inside, there would be no way to tell... 

Anything they ate as a group would certainly be safe, but he couldn't sit with them at their table, knowing what they were trying to do to him. They could easily apply a substance to his plate or his cutlery, and he would never know. But perhaps… perhaps there was a way. 

He was allowed to walk around the tower… He didn’t think they would like it, but it hadn’t been forbidden. What if he crept up to the communal kitchen in the dead of night, when no-one was there? Surely, any food he found there would be safe to eat.

He smiled to himself in the dark. He had a plan.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is okay. Killer migraine, so I've been up since 3am and working on this. Let me know if you spot any mistakes!

It seemed very early the next morning when the door opened and Doctor Banner appeared. 

"Good morning, Loki. How are you feeling this morning?" He stopped and surveyed the scene before him. Loki was sitting up in bed; he had dark circles under his eyes and the room smelled faintly of vomit. “Are you alright? Did you get sick in the night? Jarvis, why didn’t you wake me…?"

Loki winced against the bright light. "I asked him not to. I'm alright. I'm fine."

"Loki, if you were sick it could have been serious. You should have called me."

"It was nothing, really. I feel much better now."

“Can I check you over, just make sure?"

Loki stiffened; it was a trap. An examination would involve tools for cutting and needles for injecting and pain, so much pain…

Bruce saw the blood drain from his face. “Loki, just lie back, okay?" He pulled up the pillows and pushed Loki to rest against them, then grabbed a glass of water from the side table. "Here, drink this."

Loki began to drink, before realizing what he was doing. He pulled away before he remembered that the glass had been sitting on his nightstand. He poured it himself from the tap last night when he had cleaned up his mess.

He drank the water slowly while he tried to calm his nerves. It would do no good to show weakness or fear to an enemy. After a few minutes, he returned the glass to the nightstand.

"I am quite well, Doctor Banner, there’s no need for an examination. My stomach was a little upset last night, but I’m feeling much better now. However, I would like to continue sleeping, if I may?" That, at least, wasn't a lie. It didn’t seem to matter how much he slept, sometimes he thought he would never again know what it was to feel rested.

Banner shrugged his shoulders. Loki's words may have been in the form of a question, but his tone was a clear dismissal. Bruce wasn't going to force him to do anything he didn't want to. "Alright, if you're sure. Will you let Jarvis know if you need anything?"

Loki smiled insincerely. As if he would lower himself to ask for help from a spy. "Of course, Doctor Banner."

He watched as the doctor ( _a monster, just like him_ ) walked out of the apartment, and then set the electronic lock on the door. After a moment, he pulled over a chair and wedged it beneath the door handle. He imagined they could still get in whenever they wanted to, but it might slow them down, and he would surely hear them trying to get in.

With that thought in mind, he lay down and tried to sleep.

\-----------

Banner checked on him frequently over the next two days and brought him breakfast, lunch and dinner. Despite the pain in his throat, Loki assured the doctor that he was well and didn't need anything. 

He always thanked the doctor politely and took the food, promising to eat it later - it was never a good idea to antagonize your captors or give them an excuse for ‘correction’. After he left, Loki would take the tray to the bathroom and flush the food down the toilet. If, when he collected the empty tray, Banner was surprised that Loki wasn't sick from whatever poison they had given him, he didn't show it.

On the evening of the second day, Doctor Banner collected the empty tray that had been Loki's dinner. "Well, it looks as though you're not going to suffer any aftereffects. You're eating well and you say you feel good…" he paused and waited for Loki's quick nod of confirmation, “so I guess I can leave you alone now."

Loki smiled a fake smile. “Thank you, Doctor Banner."

Banner watched Loki carefully for a few minutes. Despite Loki’s assurances, he was worried about him. Loki seemed to be eating well - the trays of food were always returned empty - so Banner assumed that Loki’s somewhat gaunt appearance was natural; but he was worried about how much time Loki seemed to spend sleeping. "You sure you're okay? If you need anything - anything at all - you only have to tell Jarvis and one of us will come."

Loki kept the polite smile on his face. “Thank you, but I have everything I need. Please do not trouble yourself any further."

Bruce nodded, but kept his eyes on Loki's face. He still wasn't used to seeing Loki like this, looking so young. Without the helmet and with his hair pushed back from his face, he looked like a teenager. It was hard to remember that Loki was a villain that had tried to take over the world, and not some lonely kid that needed baby-sitting. The doctor kept reminding himself that he was talking to someone that was over 1000 years old; certainly, at that age, Loki was old enough to know how to take care of himself. He thought of Thor’s enormous appetite; perhaps Asgardians needed to sleep more, in the same way that they needed to eat so much more. Thor said Loki didn’t have his magic now, but none of them knew exactly what that meant. Was Loki human now, or something more? Perhaps he still possessed Asgardian traits and appetites… 

Bruce made one last try. "You sure?"

"I am certain. Thank you again." Loki's smile was starting to feel tight and strained. He wasn't sure how much longer he could keep pretending that nothing was wrong.

Thankfully, thought Loki, Doctor Banner finally decided he’d had enough fun tormenting him and headed for the door. "Alright. Call me if you need anything." Then, one more hesitation before he said, "Good night, Loki."

"Good night, Doctor Banner."

Loki breathed a long sigh of relief. He was finally alone.

\----------

He waited two more days before he decided to implement his plan; he wanted to be sure their constant vigilance towards him had ceased. Ideally, he would have liked to wait even longer, but he found that his mortal body was less accommodating. He was already hungry again and he needed to eat.

He waited until he thought all the Avengers would be in bed and crept up to the penthouse using the emergency staircase - someone would surely hear the elevator. He opened the door a crack and looked around the room. He could see the glow of a soft, artificial light, but no-one seemed to be there. When he was sure he couldn't hear anyone, he stepped inside, standing nervously on the threshold. Technically, he was allowed to be there - there was no rule against leaving his room, although that was probably because they hadn’t thought he would. He knew that none of the Avengers would like to know that he was in here, late at night and unsupervised.

It felt strange to be there on his own. He walked quietly over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. There were a few containers inside and he pulled them out and examined the contents. He swore in frustration - nothing looked familiar. One large box contained a type of flatbread covered in red paste and something that looked like cheese. He took a piece and moved the others to hide its loss. There was a selection of small trapezoid shaped boxes decorated with pictures of some kind of bear. He opened one or two and sniffed. They smelled spicy and he decided not to take the chance.

He found a loaf of bread and took two slices from the middle - that way, no-one would notice they had been taken. He passed over the eggs; they were certainly safe - what could you do to an egg? - but they were displayed two by two in a box. They would certainly be missed if he took them. He reached for a container that held a block of cheese and he cut a small piece from the end. He heard a sound and froze in the moonlight. Deciding not to trust his luck any longer, he bundled up his cache and hurried to the stairs.

When he reached his apartment, he sat for a few moments and regained his breath. It had been a few weeks since he had any type of exercise, and even the simple act of going up and down the stairs had tired him. He spread out his food, pleased with himself. It was a good plan, there was no way they could know what food he was going to take. No doubt Stark's spy, Jarvis, would tell his master the next day, but if Loki made sure there was no method or regularity to either his visits or his choices, he would surely be safe.

Smiling, he leaned forward and ate the flatbread. It was heavenly.

\----------

Jarvis watched Loki.

He wondered why the former god wouldn’t talk to him; any questions he asked were usually ignored or politely rebuffed. He had purchased food for Loki which had been delivered to his room, but Loki left the boxes untouched outside his door, and Jarvis would have to remove them before they spoiled.

He was curious as to why Loki wasn’t eating. Although he had once been considered a god, Loki was human now and humans needed to eat. But Loki didn’t; he slept or he stared out of the window. He should have been very dull to watch, but Jarvis found himself intrigued by him - he was so different from the Loki they had known before. 

Loki had suffered another small seizure the second night after the anaphylactic attack. If Jarvis had to speculate, he would hypothesize that the seizures were triggered by stress or anxiety. It was probable that Loki would have experienced a seizure immediately after the attack, but the medication given to him afterwards prevented that.

Now he watched curiously as Loki left his apartment at 2.17 in the morning. There was no rule against it, certainly, but he felt that the other residents of the tower would not like it. He ran through various options. Mr. Stark had only been in bed for a few hours and had not slept the night before. Mr. Rogers was also sleeping, something the man seemed to have difficulties with. Jarvis would not interrupt the few hours of sleep either of them were able to find. And he did not want to upset Doctor Banner; he had noticed that mentioning Loki seemed to cause undue stress for the doctor. The spies were away on a mission. He decided he would monitor Loki’s behaviour and if he saw anything untoward, he would notify Mr. Stark immediately.

He watched as Loki crept up the staircase, opened the door a crack and waited, listening. With bare feet, Loki padded silently forward and Jarvis prepared himself to sound the alarm that would waken his master. But Loki didn’t head towards Mr. Stark’s room, or towards the Stark pad that had been left upon the counter top. Instead, Loki moved to the kitchen and began to search through the contents. Was he going to tamper with the food?

But no; he took a slice of pizza from the box, shuffling the other slices to cover its loss. Jarvis saw him sniff the containers of leftover Chinese food and push them to one side. He watched as Loki pulled out half of the bread so he could take two pieces from the middle - clever, Jarvis noted; that way no-one would notice a difference in height from one slice to the other. The trickster added a small slice of cheese to his pile and then hurried back to his room.

But why would Loki steal food from Mr. Stark’s apartment? He had his own fully-stocked kitchen and could order whatever foods he required.

Their guest was proving to be very intriguing.

\----------

Bruce Banner bit his lip and wondered again whether he was doing the right thing. 

Loki had clearly told him that he didn’t want anything, but there had been a look in his eyes when Bruce had mentioned books. And Thor seemed to think that reading was important to his brother. 

Bruce had been worrying about Loki. He had visited him a few times since he recovered, and each time Loki had been either sitting staring out of the window or sleeping. Bruce was starting to suspect that Loki might be suffering from some form of depression. If that was the case, then having nothing to do all day wasn’t a good idea. 

He fingered the volume in his hands. He knew they’d agreed to let Shield approve everything Loki saw, but so far they hadn’t sent him anything at all. Besides, Bruce couldn’t believe that there would be anything in this book that they could object to. There were no clues about Earth that Loki could use against them, it was all fantasy; and perhaps Loki would feel better if he could lose himself in Middle-earth for a while.

Deciding upon it, Bruce took the book to the cash register. To his surprise, there wasn’t even a line.

The sales clerk took the book from him and smiled. “Oh, I was just about to mark that one down - it’s 50% off!”

Bruce smiled. “Great!” 

He paid the clerk and decided to treat himself to a cup of coffee. The barista turned to him with a cup in her hand. “By any chance, do you like chai lattes?”

He smiled. “As a matter of fact, I was just about to order one.”

She beamed at him and handed him the cup. “Looks like it’s your lucky day! The last guy paid for this and had to rush off before I could give it to him. Would you like it? It’s already paid for.”

Bruce was surprised and pleased. “Thanks!” He put a few dollars in the tip jar and walked out of the store. 

A cab pulled up outside and a woman began to climb out. Bruce rushed to hold the door for her and then climbed into the cab. “Avengers Tower,” he told the driver. The traffic was moving easily and the lights were green the whole way.

It was definitely his lucky day.

\----------

Tony grabbed his screwdriver and reached out for the screw. This was the last adjustment that he needed to make to complete the latest modifications to his suit. As he fumbled for the screw, it slipped from between his fingers and rolled away; he heard the clank as it fell through a nearby vent.

“Shit!” Putting down his screwdriver, he turned to the box of screws. It was empty.

“Jarvis, I need more of these screws, where are they?”

“I’m afraid you just used the last one, sir.”

Tony froze. “What? Why didn’t you order more?”

“I did, sir. Unfortunately, there was a problem with production. They will not be able to ship your order for another three weeks.”

“Well, order them from someplace else!”

“As I’m sure you are aware, the screws are custom made to your own specifications. They cannot be ordered elsewhere.”

Tony stared at his suit, aghast. “But I can’t finish this without that screw! And I can’t go into battle with the suit like this! That screw attaches the gauntlet! What do you suggest, that Ironman goes into battle with duct tape on his suit?”

“Perhaps Mr. Barton would be kind enough to go onto the vent and retrieve the screw for you, sir.”

“Clint’s away on a mission with Natasha!”

There was a brief pause. “Would you like me to order some duct tape?”

Tony Stark’s answer was not repeatable.

\----------

Nick Fury swore as his elbow was jostled and his coffee splashed onto the front of his shirt. At least the shirt was black and wouldn’t show the stain, but it was still going to be uncomfortable for a while and he’d smell like coffee all day. He considered going back home to change, but decided he didn’t have time. 

The traffic was terrible and he seemed to hit every red light on the way here.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of things to mention - This story is more about relationships than action, so there are a lot of areas where I’m not going to go into a huge amount of detail, i.e. Hydra, the scepter, the whole Winter Soldier thing and Thanos. They’ll all be mentioned, but only in the context of their relationship to this story. Otherwise, I’ll never get to the story I wanted to write (as it is, I keep finding plot points I need to add)!
> 
> For those of you who wondered why it was taking so long to get to the whole Loki/Steve plotline, don’t worry, we’re almost there! Meanwhile, here’s a nice long, angsty chapter! Please note that I've updated the tags to include -
> 
> **Warning - violence/torture!**
> 
> Many thanks as always for all your comments and kudos, you are the best!!!

Loki heard a knock at his door. He uncurled himself from his seat by the window and walked slowly to answer it. No doubt it was Banner, who seemed to feel the need to check on him constantly. He probably wanted to see if his poison was working yet, although Loki didn’t know why they were bothering with such subterfuge; if they were worried about Thor, they could simply attack him outright and claim it was an accident or self defense.

Banner stood in the doorway, a bag in his hands. “Yes?”

“Hey Loki, how are you doing?”

He wondered how such a great monster could appear in such an awkward and diffident form. “As I told you just two days ago, I am well.”

“Can I come in?”

Loki stood back and held the door open. Loki could hardly say no; could a prisoner refuse to let his jailer into his cell? 

Banner looked around critically. “Haven’t done much with the place. Don’t you want to get a few things to personalize it?”

Loki shrugged. He would not ask them for anything; he would not owe them. “I don’t see the point, do you? I am only staying until the Allfather calls me back.”

“But you don’t have any idea when that will be?”

Loki looked away. “No.” To his horror, he had to swallow to fight a lump in his throat. After a minute, he turned back to his visitor. “Is there something I can help you with, Doctor Banner?”

“Actually,” - was Banner blushing? - “I got you something.” Loki looked down in surprise as the doctor handed him the bag. “Here.”

He took it cautiously and looked inside. He tried to keep himself under control and not let the eagerness show on his face. He drew it out slowly, relishing the weight of it. It felt thick, heavy… wonderful!

“A book.” He kept his voice flat. He must not give them power over him.

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites. Haven’t read it in years.” He took the book from Loki and flicked through the pages. “Must have read it a dozen times in college.”

Loki couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to stop his careless fingers from creasing the pages.

Banner smiled and handed it back. “Thought you might like it.”

A voice in Loki’s head told him not to accept the gift, to return it and show them they had no power over him, but he couldn’t. Not once he had the book in his hands, that familiar, wonderful weight. He barely acknowledged the doctor as he left, eagerly taking the book and returning to his seat by the window.

Almost reverently, he opened the book to the first page and began to read.

\----------

“Mr Rogers, you wished to be informed when Mr Barton returned?”

Steve rubbed his eyes and looked up from the papers he’d been reading. “He’s back?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Thanks, Jarvis.”

Steve pushed his chair away from the table and stretched. He was tired. He’d had bad dreams ever since he’d seen Bucky fall, and reading through these papers didn’t help. It seemed he must be constantly reminded of his failure to save his friend. 

He walked to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. Sometimes he felt that he was less of a team leader and more of a minder. Tony alone seemed to need twenty-four hour supervision, and Steve really didn’t have the time or the energy to deal with the whole Loki/Clint problem.

Two minutes and an elevator ride later, and Steve was standing in the kitchen of the small apartment Clint and Natasha shared (apparently platonically, although he’d heard Tony and Bruce speculate about the relationship; privately, Steve suspected that Bruce would be very happy to be reassured that the two spies were just good friends).

Clint pulled two mugs out of a cupboard. “I was just about to make coffee, would you like some?”

“Thanks.”

Clint began to fill the coffee machine. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Cap, but you look a little ragged. Anything I can help with?”

Steve sighed and leaned against the counter. “I was trying to work my way through those files Natasha gave me, but something else came up that needed to be dealt with.”

“That’s tough. Anything I can help with?”

“Actually, yes. It’s about Loki.”

Clint stiffened and his face became a blank. “Oh?”

Steve crossed his arms. “Loki nearly died last week after suffering an anaphylactic attack.” He watched Clint carefully, noting the way his eyes widened at the information and the sudden flash of guilt that washed over his face. “Anything you want to tell me?”

Clint turned back to the coffee machine and busied himself with pouring it out. “Thor said he’d react badly, not that it could kill him.”

“And would you care if it had?”

Clint handed him a mug, his face hard. “Not really, no. Can you blame me? He’s bad news, Cap, he shouldn’t be here.” At the look on Steve’s face, he deflated. “I wasn’t trying to kill him. I thought he’d get the sh… sick for a few days, that was all.”

“We made a promise, Clint. Me, Tony, Bruce - even Fury, though he seems happy to forget it.” Steve frowned as he thought back to a similar conversation with the director. “We promised Thor we’d keep Loki safe. We’re doing this because of our treaty with Odin and Asgard, and for Thor, because he’s our friend and he asked us to. We didn’t have much choice, but even if we did, Thor’s our friend and we should trust him. We owe him that much.”

“Loki took over my mind and tried to take over the planet! He killed people, Cap, people who will never get justice. Loki gets to stay here in comfort while all of them, people like Phil… they…”

Steve put a hand on the archer’s shoulder. “I know. But Thor said it’s been dealt with by Odin and we have to believe him.”

“When it comes to Loki, Thor’s got a blind spot a mile wide. Who's to say it isn’t the same way with Odin? Doesn’t look to me as though Loki’s had any punishment at all. Just thinking of it makes me sick.” He shook off Steve’s hand, and in a sudden fit of anger, hurled his mug at the wall.

Steve watched the brown liquid run down the white wall. He understood this was harder on Clint than any of them and Steve could only imagine how he felt, but they had agreed to do this. They couldn’t let Clint jeopardize their relationship with Asgard. “Alright, but what about the rest of us?”

“What do you mean?”

Steve looked thoughtful. “Years ago, when Bucky and I were kids, we had an English teacher who decided we should put on a play. We were studying Shakespeare, and I guess he thought it would help us to see it acted out. It was kind of a big deal back then, I don’t think any of us had even been to a proper play before. Anyway, he decided to do Othello - ever seen it?”

Puzzled by the change in subject, Clint shook his head.

“No idea why he chose that one; guess he thought everyone else was doing Romeo and Juliet or Henry V and he wanted to be different. Anyway, Bucky got the part of Cassio. I used to help him learn his lines and ended up learning the play from beginning to end. There was this one speech - I still remember it, ’cause I liked it so much. ‘Who steals my purse steals trash; 'tis something, nothing; 'twas mine, 'tis his, and has been slave to thousands; but he that filches from me my good name robs me of that which not enriches him, and makes me poor indeed.”

He looked to see if Clint had understood what he was saying. “It means that a man’s reputation is more important than anything else. If you keep hurting Loki, it won’t make you feel better, I can promise you that. But think about what it does to those of us who made the oath. We made a promise to keep Loki safe, and because of you, we broke that promise. You made liars of all of us and showed everyone that our word - the word of the Avengers - can’t be trusted.”

Clint thought that no-one could do disappointment as well as Steve. Still surly, he said, “He’s never apologized for what he did, and I'm not sorry for what I did to him, but I shouldn’t have involved the rest of you. For that I’m sorry.”

Steve nodded; it was the best he could hope for.

\----------

Steve made his way down to Loki’s quarters. This would be his second visit and he hoped - but doubted - that it would go better than the first. On his first visit, Loki hadn’t invited him past the doorstep and kept their interaction to a minimum, insisting that he was fine, thank you, and no, he didn’t need anything. 

Bruce had been checking on him since the attack and reported that their guest was fine but didn’t seem too keen on company. Steve wanted to respect Loki’s right to privacy, so he’d stayed away until now.

Loki started. He'd been lying on the cool tile of the floor reading his book and he must have drifted off. The knock at the door must have woken him. He didn’t move. He didn’t want visitors; perhaps if he ignored them, they would go away.

Jarvis’ voice interrupted his thoughts. “Sir, Mr Rogers is requesting entrance.”

Loki sighed. “Alright!”

He had meant it as an acknowledgement, but Jarvis took it as permission. Before he could move, Rogers walked into the room.

The captain looked surprised to see Loki lying on the floor with a book in his hands. “Hello Loki, how are you?”

Loki scrambled to his feet, a little awkwardly. He’d lost track of how long he'd been lying on the floor and his muscles had stiffened. “I am well, thank you.” His hair fell into his face and he pushed it back impatiently. 

He didn’t trouble himself to inquire about the captain’s health. If there was anything wrong with the leader of the Avengers, then it wasn’t Loki's problem.

“Was there something you needed, Captain?” Loki tried - and failed - to keep the irritation from his voice. Why was Rogers just standing there, staring?

Steve couldn't find his voice. For a moment, instead of Loki, he had imagined it was Bucky lying there, looking just as he used to when he’d come to visit Steve in his overly heated sickroom. Before he’d filled out, Bucky had been almost as tall and slender as Loki was now, and his mother - busy working and unable to keep up with the constant need for haircuts - frequently left Bucky’s hair to grow longer, and it would fall over his face in just the same way.

Just like Loki, Bucky would stretch out on the floor, insisting that it was too hot to curl up in a chair. Then he’d pull out a book - usually some kind of detective novel - and start reading it to Steve, who was usually too tired and sick to concentrate on the small print. 

“I…” for a moment, he couldn’t remember why he had come down here. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. I just wanted to see how you were doing after…” he waved his hand in a vague gesture, “after everything.”

Loki shook his head impatiently. Again, the angles of his face reminded Steve of Bucky as a young man. Had Loki always looked so young?

Loki’s voice, clear and precise, broke the illusion. “As I have said, I am quite recovered. Thank you.”

It was a clear dismissal, but Steve felt he needed to explain further. He didn't want Loki to think that they condoned what had happened. “It won’t happen again, I’ve…” he suddenly stopped. He had been about to say that he’d spoken to Clint, but he wasn’t sure if Loki knew or suspected Clint’s involvement. If he didn’t, it would be better not to let Loki know who was responsible. “I’ve made sure there won’t be any more spicy foods in your apartment,” he finished lamely.

Loki curled his lip derisively. He didn’t believe it for a second. “Of course not.” He walked back to the door and held it open. “There was nothing else?”

Steve bristled slightly at being shown the door so obviously, but since he had said what he needed to there was no longer any need to stay.

Except that for some reason, he wanted to.

\----------

Tony couldn’t believe how easily they’d all settled into a routine. They may have been living with a supervillain, but it was surprising how little they seemed to notice his presence. Tony hadn't even seen him since the incident with the chili. He happily left Bruce and Steve to keep tabs on Loki. Caretaking wasn't really his thing.

And it was good that Loki wasn’t causing trouble, because everything else seemed to be going wrong for Tony lately. 

It wasn’t just the argument he’d had with Natasha and Clint, although that had been bad enough. They were teammates and he should have been able to trust them, but he’d found that not only had they bugged his phone, but they’d also hidden surveillance equipment all over the tower. It had taken days to locate it all and destroy it. He’d told the spies that from now on, Jarvis would be monitoring them constantly, and if they couldn’t share his home without spying on him, then they could just leave. Furthermore, if Fury didn’t stop trying to stick his nose in Tony’s business, then Ironman would leave the Avengers and take his tech with him. It had turned out alright in the end and the spies had agreed to his terms, but it left a bad taste in his mouth and he didn’t think he’d ever really trust them again.

He couldn’t even talk to Pepper about it. Pepper was mad at him because he’d forgotten her birthday. She might still have forgiven him, if he hadn’t made the news that night, accidentally breaking a chandelier in a strip club as he tried to open a bottle of champagne for his three scantily-clad companions.

It definitely wasn’t his month.

\-----------

The Avengers were quietly cleaning up after dinner when their phones began to buzz an alarm.

Steve looked down at the message. “Okay, Avengers - assemble!”

Tony cocked an eyebrow. “Hate to break it to you, Cap, but we’re already here and assembled.”

Steve ignored him. “Looks like we've had some unexplained explosions in the Atlantic that may be connected to the Hydra. Might be gone for a couple of days.”

“Wait, what are we gonna do about psycho Rudolph?”

Steve frowned for a minute until he remembered. “He hasn’t caused any trouble so far, and he gave us his word that he wouldn’t try anything.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “And Santa Claus is real and your childhood pet really did go to a farm upstate. Seriously, I’m not leaving him alone in my tower!”

Natasha had been speaking quietly into her phone. “That was Fury. He’s sending some agents round to make sure there isn’t any trouble while we’re gone.” 

Steve frowned. “He isn’t a prisoner, Nat.”

She shrugged. “Just a precaution, Cap.”

Tony was watching her carefully. “Not sure I like the idea of more Shield agents crawling over my tower.”

“He’s only sending three. Besides, you're always saying you have Jarvis and a first class security system. If you can’t protect the tower against a few Shield agents, then you've got no chance against Loki."

Tony’s eyes narrowed. “I have faith in Jarvis.”

She smiled, closing the trap around him. “Well, then. Shall we go?”

Tony swore. “Jarvis, set level five security protocols.”

“Certainly, sir.” 

Steve stepped forward, “Guys, we’ve got to go.”

“Right behind you, Cap.”

\----------

“Welcome to Stark Tower. Please be advised that you are unauthorized to enter certain areas of the tower. If you would like to make your way to the penthouse, you may help yourself to any food or drink that you require.”

The three agents moved in tandem as the elevator closest to them opened in invitation. When they arrived at the penthouse, one of them asked, “Where’s the prisoner?”

They wouldn’t have thought it possible for an AI to sound icy, but Jarvis managed it. “I’m afraid I don’t know who you mean, sir.”

“Loki. Is he secure? Where is he?”

“Loki is in his apartment on the floor below.”

“What’s he doing now?”

“I am unable to give you that information.”

All three agents stared up in shock. “What? Why not? Has your system been compromised?” One of the agents pulled out a phone. 

“An agreement was made between Mr Stark, Mr Odinson and Director Fury. Unless there is a potential threat, reporting on Loki would violate the terms of that agreement.”

The agents exchanged glances and sat down. One of them pulled out a laptop and began to type. 

After a few hours, one of her companions stood up and stretched. “Are you in yet?”

“Just a few… more… minutes…”

He stood and looked out of the window while she continued to type. The other agent joined him. “Helluva view.”

The first man nodded sharply. They stood in silence until they heard, “There! That should do it! Shall we try?”

The second man called out, “Jarvis!”

They all waited; nothing happened. The hacker grinned. “Looks like it worked. Shall we test the security protocols?”

“Sure. Let’s see if we can get access to his lab.”

\----------

Jarvis recognized the threat an instant too late. The agent was smart; she’d disguised her attack beneath a fake one and Jarvis had taken the bait. While he'd been fighting the false threat, the real virus had slipped under his radar.

At least she hadn’t succeeded as well as she thought. Some of the electrical systems were no longer under his control, like the lights and the elevators, and his communication network had been compromised. But thankfully, the locks on the doors were still secure and his surveillance systems were fully operational; he could still track them and record their movements.

But as he watched, he realized there was a greater danger. He watched, helpless and mute, as Loki slipped from his room. Jarvis had soon realized why Loki left his apartment at night. Although Loki still refused to acknowledge him, he had listened to Jarvis on the three occasions he had been warned that the common room was not empty. Loki had also trusted Jarvis when the AI had told him the room was safe to enter, even though the lights were on and Mr Stark lay sprawled across the couch fast asleep.

Jarvis had only wanted to help, but now he saw the result of his folly as Loki slipped trustingly into the penthouse.

\----------

It was late.

Loki checked the time on the microwave clock. 02.16. He was hungry. He'd heard music playing in the penthouse for the past three nights and so had quickly returned to his apartment. Now he couldn’t wait any longer; he needed to eat tonight without fail. 

He quickly dressed in the clothes he had arrived in. He was comfortable in the clothes he had borrowed from Thor - they made him feel as though his brother was close - but tonight he needed to move quickly, and his old prison clothes were light and easy to move in.

He left the apartment and headed for the emergency staircase. He always moved quietly, and so far he had been able to creep in and out easily without being observed.

He paused a moment when he cracked open the door. The room was bathed in soft light, but he heard no sounds and there was no warning from Jarvis. He was loath to admit it, but he had come to rely on the AI’s warnings. When he heard nothing, he stepped quietly inside. 

Just to be certain, he cast his eyes about the room, listening for any sounds. Hearing nothing, he hurried over to the fridge. He pulled it open and was pleased to see a loaf of bread inside. Sometimes Stark seemed to have nothing but containers of leftovers, and it was harder to steal from those.

Loki opened the bag of bread and carefully took two slices from the middle so they wouldn’t be missed. Sadly, Stark didn’t have any of the cheesy flatbread that he'd tried that first night; he’d found it a few times, always with different toppings, and it was delicious. Never mind, he’d take some fruit as well before he left; that should be enough. 

He was just sealing the bread bag when he heard a noise. He looked up sharply, his face clearly visible by the light of the fridge.

An unknown voice shouted, “What the…?” as another figure flew across the room and punched him hard in the face, first the right fist and then the left. He fell to the floor and drew in a breath as a foot cracked one of his ribs.

He felt a knee in the small of his back and his arm was wrenched behind him. A hand fisted in his hair and pulled his head up. The stench of garlic hit his nostrils. “What the fuck are you doing in here?”

“N..nofing!” The word was distorted. His mouth felt thick from the punch and he could feel his lip swelling.

“Really? Nothing? That’s why you’re sneaking around like a thief, is it?”

Loki wasn’t sure if he was supposed to answer; sometimes it was best to stay silent.

Apparently, it was not one of those times. His attacker banged his head against the floor and he saw stars. “Well?”

“N..needed some bread!” From his swollen lips, the word came out as ‘bwead’. He tried to point with his free hand. The two slices of bread had flown across the floor.

“You want us to believe that you snuck up here in the dark at 2am to steal bread?”

“Y..yeth!” His lip felt three times its normal size and his cheek flared with pain.

“Well then,” - he could hear a smile in his attacker's voice and a shiver ran down his spine; he knew the sound of someone that liked to inflict pain - “you must be hungry. Don’t let us stop you, go ahead and eat!” 

One of the others - he could only see their feet - moved forward and stepped heavily on the bread, heel to toe. Then he kicked the slices forward.

The one holding his hair - he thought of him as ‘Garlic Breath’ - pulled his head up higher. “Go on! I told you to eat!”

Loki turned his head away and clamped his mouth shut. The hand in his hair twisted and pulled harder. “I said, eat!”

Another different voice said, “Maybe he needs some more persuasion.”

He felt his free hand being pulled away. The person on top of him moved to hold it in place. The shoes that had trodden on the bread - he recognized a scuff - appeared and one foot was placed on top of his hand. He made a small noise in the back of his throat as he felt bones give way under the weight.

“Eat!”

There was no way he could get out of this and he was so tired of pain. It wasn’t the worst thing he’d had to endure.

He stretched out his damaged hand and pulled the flattened bread towards him. Stealing himself, he began to eat, quickly, mechanically, ignoring the grit and the dirt and the pain in his hand and mouth. It wasn’t so bad if he tried not to think about it; he was hungry and he had long ago resigned himself to forgoing his pride in an effort to stay alive.

The man on top of him - Garlic Breath - laughed harshly. “See, told you he was hungry!”

The other voice - in his head, Loki named him ‘Shoes’ - took on a speculative note. “I bet he’s thirsty now, aren’t you?”

Loki saw the footsteps move towards the kitchen. He heard the sound of pans clattering and water running. A lot of water. Far too much water.

The footsteps came back, a little slower and water splashed as he walked. A huge pot was placed in front of him. “What say we give him a drink?”

Garlic Breath laughed, but he heard a different voice - clearly female - say nervously, “Hey, that’s enough, guys. Fury just told us to keep an eye on him and try to hack Jarvis. There’s going to be trouble if anyone finds out we did this.”

“Not like they’re gonna know, is it? He’ll have dried off by morning!”

Garlic Breath laughed again. Before he knew what was happening, Garlic Breath and Shoes had pulled him up, Garlic Breath wrapping one hand around Loki’s broken ribs and placing the other against the back of his neck. It was horrifyingly reminiscent of the way Thor would show his affection.

Garlic Breath squeezed, and as Loki opened his mouth to scream, he pushed with his other hand. Shoes grabbed his head and thrust it into the pot. It was a large pot, but his head almost filled it and water spewed over the top. The feeling of claustrophobia was quickly replaced by the inability to breathe, as water invaded his lungs. He tried to kick out, but Garlic Breath increased the pressure on his ribs, causing Loki to - disastrously - suck in his breath. Spots began to appear before his eyes and he felt himself losing consciousness.

His head was quickly pulled out and he coughed up the water from his lungs. He sagged against his captor, gasping for breath like a fish out of water. Just as he felt his breath returning, he was hoisted up and dunked again. They repeated the process four more times, always pulling him away when unconsciousness threatened to release him.

The female voice said, “Come on, stop it now. We’re the good guys.”

“And he’s the bad guy. We’re just giving him a little taste of justice - isn’t that what’s supposed to happen?”

“This man killed Phil and you know what Clint and the rest of us have been going through. Not to mention all the people he killed with his army. Fucker deserves way worse than this.”

Shoes said, “You know, you make a good point.” He pulled back a foot and delivered a kick to Loki’s stomach. He repeated the action four or five times - it was hard to keep track - and Loki felt another rib crack.

“Come on, guys. That’s enough.” The woman was starting to sound nervous. “We’ll get into trouble if they see he's all beaten up. A few punches we can explain, but this? We’ll lose our jobs when they find out.”

“No-one’s gonna know. You’ve taken care of Jarvis and this guy is like a cockroach. He got smashed by the Hulk and he was up and about an hour later. Doesn’t matter what we do to him now, he’ll be fine by morning - all healed up.” Garlic Breath pushed Loki’s head to the floor where it cracked against the tile. Loki felt the man’s spit against his cheek as he spoke. “Not like us. I was one of the ones you had working for you, remember?”

Loki said nothing; his head was spinning, but he honestly wouldn’t have remembered the man anyway. He remembered Selvig and his Hawk, but none of the others.

Garlic Breath grabbed Loki’s damaged hand and pinned it to the floor, a restraining knee on his wrist. “Hey, I’m a fair man. Tell you what, if you can remember my name, my friend won’t crush your hand - how does that sound?”

His head was pulled up and he stared into the eyes of a man he would have sworn he’d never seen before. He had no idea of the man’s name. 

“Yeah, that’s what I figured. This is a little reminder from all of us.” With amazing speed, Shoes brought his foot down on top of Loki’s outstretched hand. Loki screamed as the bones of his hand shattered beneath the blow. “And this is for Phil.” This time, his target was Loki’s ankle. Loki felt bile rise in his throat as the bone snapped.

They were interrupted by the ping of a phone. “Shit, they’re done already! They’re on their way back!”

“Fuck! I thought they were meant to be out for at least a day?”

“Something must have happened. Quick, help me get this scumbag back to his room. You, get Jarvis back on line. We’ll be back in a minute to clean this mess up. Be ready to go in fifteen.”

“Won’t they suspect something if we’re not here when they get back?”

“It’s Tony Stark. He’ll suspect something anyway, and we don’t want to be here in case Jarvis reports that he was down. Now come on, let’s go!”

Two pairs of hands grabbed Loki and pulled him to his feet. They dragged him roughly to the elevator and pushed him into his apartment, where at last he fell into blessed unconsciousness.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Trigger Warning for Notes!**
> 
> My dog died. She wasn’t sick and she wasn’t old, but my sweet, beautiful little girl died suddenly at the end of September and I’m devastated. October would have been her eight birthday, and this month marks the anniversary of us finding her at the pound. And I know that there are lots of people out there saying, ‘what’s the big deal, it’s just a dog?’, but to me, she wasn’t. She’s the one I’ve spent the most time with over the past seven years (I work at home, we were always together). She was the reason for my user name and my profile picture on ff.net; she meant the world to me. So sorry for the delay in updates, but this has left me gutted. 
> 
> Also, sorry to moan. I know lots of people are having a rough time right now, and probably with greater cause than I have; I just wanted to explain.
> 
> If you’re also following Cuckoo, it might be a while yet. I just wrote two hounds into the story and that’s got to change.
> 
> **Notes on the story -**
> 
> I try to do my best with medical research, but there may be some mistakes (some accidental and some so the story can happen!). Hope you like it, please let me know if you do (I'd really appreciate it)!
> 
> Take care and stay safe!

“Well, that was a bust!”

Bruce Banner shrugged. “I don’t have a problem with coming back from a mission fully dressed and awake. Makes a nice change.”

“You’d have thought they’d have checked it out first. Made sure it really was Hydra activity and not just someone unearthing an old World War II sub.”

“Least we found out before we got all the way there. Woulda sucked to have wasted two days on this. Lucky Rhodey called when he did!”

Clint and Natasha exchanged a glance. Natasha called from the cockpit. “Almost home, guys.”

“You guys wanna come back to the tower for pizza?”

Clint grinned. “I could eat.”

The others nodded in agreement.

“Great! Jarvis, order some pizzas, would ya?”

There was a pause and then a voice in Tony’s ear. “I’m sorry, sir. I’m unable to contact the tower.”

Tony felt his blood turn to ice. “Dammit!”

Steve frowned. “What’s wrong!”

“Jarvis can’t connect with the tower. I KNEW I shouldn’t have left Loki there alone! Bastard’s probably trying to take control of the building.”

Steve turned to Natasha. “How long till we get there?”

She checked the controls. “Just a few minutes.”

Bruce seemed to be muttering a low mantra under his breath and trying desperately to keep calm.

Natasha spoke up again. “Bringing her home, guys. Might wanna buckle up, I’m going in hard and fast.”

Clint’s low voiced, “That’s what she said” seemed to be more of a reflex than a genuine attempt to lighten the mood.

As soon as Natasha set the Helicarrier on the landing pad, Tony put down his faceplate. “Let’s do this.”

They swarmed into the penthouse, guns at the ready, only to be stopped by Jarvis’ voice. “Sir?”

Tony pulled off his helmet. “J? I thought you were down… is everything okay?”

Jarvis’ voice held a steely note. “I am missing some time… it seems the Shield agents had an agenda. One moment, while I check my systems.”

Tony turned to the spies. “You know about this?”

Before they could answer, Jarvis began to speak again. “Medical emergency in Loki’s room. He requires immediate assistance.”

Bruce began to head for his room. “I'll get my bag.”

Natasha pushed him gently in the direction of Loki’s room. “We’ll fetch it. You get down there and see what you can do.”

“No, that’s okay…”

“I would suggest following Miss Romanov’s suggestion, sir. I fear there is no time to waste.”

He nodded quickly and hurried away. As the spies rushed to Banner’s room. Natasha asked, “Did you know about this?”

Clint shook his head before realizing her attention was focused on finding the bag. “Just the decoy mission and the hacking. You?”

“Same. Let’s go and see what’s happened.”  
\----------

Bruce rushed into Loki’s room, flanked by Steve and Tony. He stopped short at the sight in front of him. “Shit!”

He hurried forward and began to examine the figure on the floor. 

Steve knelt beside them. “How is he? Will he be okay?”

Tony took a step back. Old memories began to come flooding back and he wanted to be anywhere else. “Look, I’ll leave you to it…”

“No!” The spies came in just in time to hear Bruce’s command. Wordlessly, Natasha held out his bag. “It’s no good, I can’t handle this. This time he needs a real hospital.”

Steve nodded. “I’ll call for an ambulance.”

“No time. I think he’s bleeding internally. Even if Shield lets one through, it would probably be too late. Tony, you need to take him.”

“Take him how?”

“In the suit - you’ll have to carry him. There’s no time for anything else.”

Tony swallowed. “Even I can see he’s got broken bones. There’s no way I can get him there without doing more damage.”

“Tony, if he isn’t operated on in the next half hour, he could die. There’s literally nothing you can do to him that’s worse than that.”

Tony swallowed and gestured to Jarvis for his suit. “Where should I take him?”

“City Hospital. I’ll call ahead, I know a surgeon that can help us. Just get him there.”

Tony took a reluctant step forward and bent down to lift the former god. Even allowing for the extra strength the suit gave him, the former god felt very light. Steve helped him to arrange the body so he could fly with it.

“Jarvis?”

“Certainly, sir. Good luck.” 

Jarvis opened the large window and Tony flew through, clutching Loki’s body to his chest. He arrived at the hospital’s helipad less than ten minutes later. A doctor was waiting for him with two nurses and a gurney. Forcing herself to turn away from Ironman with only a brief nod, she began to examine Loki as they rushed him into a room. 

One of the nurses pushed Tony back. “Sorry, you need to wait out here.”

Tony opened his mouth to protest and thought better of it. Obviously, he couldn’t scrub up and follow them into surgery and this was clearly no trick. Loki wasn’t going to be trying anything, except perhaps staying alive. 

Feeling awkward in his suit, he tried to stand out of the way. He could see people turning to look at him. A gentle cough made him turn. 

An older nurse was standing before him. “Excuse me, sir. Would you like to wait somewhere more private?”

She led him to a private waiting room nearby and even supplied him with a cup of coffee, for which he was extremely grateful. As soon as she left, he drained the cup and sat down to watch the footage Jarvis had recorded of the attack.

\----------

The others joined him about forty-five minutes later.

“Good job we didn't wait for the ambulance, the traffic was a bitch,” muttered Clint, throwing himself into one of the chairs. 

“How is he? Are they operating now?”

“Yeah, you were right. Internal bleeding, broken bones… he’s a mess.”

Bruce nodded and handed him a bag. “Thought you might appreciate something to change into.”

“Thanks.” Tony watched Natasha take a seat next to Clint. 

Feeling his eyes on her, Natasha said defensively, “We didn’t know about this.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed. “But you knew something. Was it the mission? The hacking?”

Her attitude became defiant. “Shield had to do something. Loki’s a psychopathic villain that doesn’t care about rules. An oath won’t stop him. We’re only doing what we have to.”

“Is that right? Doing what you had to? Hey Bruce, you got a Starkpad with you?”

Bruce looked a little confused but nodded. “Yeah… you want it?”

Tony took it from him. “Thanks, buddy. Jarvis, wanna do the honors? Just the highlights.”

After a minute, video footage began to play. After a few minutes, Clint turned away. Bruce’s skin took on a greenish tint and he lowered himself into a seat. Steve watched, stricken, and Natasha stared, pale but stoney-faced.

When it finished playing, Tony threw down the Starkpad. 

Natasha met his eyes. “We didn’t know they were going to hurt him.”

Tony gestured to the pad. “They did that in my penthouse.” His voice was like ice.

“They shouldn’t have…”

Tony slammed his hand on the table. “They did that in my HOME! Shield agents came to MY TOWER and TORTURED someone! IN MY PENTHOUSE! You can tell Fury that no Shield agent is ever coming inside my tower again - and that includes the two of you!”

Clint turned quickly, shocked. “Hey! You can’t do that! What about our stuff?”

Tony grabbed the bag Bruce had given him. “It’s my tower and I can do whatever I want. Steve and Bruce can pack for you. Get out of my sight.”

He walked out the door. Sliding back her chair, Natasha said, “Come on, Clint, I think we should go.”

Bruce began to rise as well, hoping to catch Natasha and speak to her before she left, but he was checked by the sight of Loki’s broken body, frozen on the screen of the Starkpad. He lowered his head and returned to his seat. 

Ten minutes later, Tony returned and threw himself into a chair “Any news?”

“Not so far.”

Bruce moved his chair a little closer to Tony’s. In an undertone, he asked, “You doing okay?”

Tony angled his face and tried to assume a casual air. “You mean after finding out that someone was brutally tortured in my living room? Yeah, doin’ great. Considering redecorating.”

Bruce tried to match his attempt to lighten the atmosphere. “I’ve always thought you could use some cushions. Maybe a throw. You know, a little more color.”

Tony smiled gratefully at his friend. “Gold and red, perhaps?”

Bruce smiled in return. “I don’t know. Might be a little flashy.”

Tony grinned and gave him the finger.

Their attempts to distract themselves from the situation failed as Steve frowned. “Don’t you think you should be taking this a little more seriously?”

Tony glared at him. “Oh, trust me, I’m taking it seriously. They hacked into Jarvis and tortured someone in my home. Where I watch tv and eat dinner. Where I relax with Pepper. I can never not see that,” he gestured to the screen, “everytime I’m in that room.”

Steve nodded, but he felt that Stark had missed the point he was trying to make. Stark was angry about the fact that it had happened in his tower, rather than the fact that it had happened at all. A small frown on Bruce’s face showed Steve that he was thinking the same thing.

Bruce picked up the Starkpad and examined the picture on the screen. “We’ve probably got quite a wait ahead of us. I don’t mind waiting, if you guys want to go back.”

Tony brightened. “Sure?”

Bruce nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Great, I could use a drink! Need us to get you anything before we go?”

“Cup of coffee, maybe?”

Steve stood and stretched. “I’ll get it. Could use some myself.”

“We can ask Happy to swing by a Starbucks on the way back.”

“That’s okay. Think I’ll stick around a little longer.”

Tony shrugged. “Suit yourself. Call if you need anything.”

“Thanks.”

They watched him go and Steve headed to the end of the hall to fetch the coffee.

\----------

They waited mainly in silence, taking it in turns to get more coffee. Finally, the door opened and the doctor came in. Both men stood as she entered.

She pulled out a chair across from them. “Hello, I’m Doctor Adrian. Doctor Banner, it’s nice to see you again. And you must be Steve Rogers; obviously, I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to meet you in person. I wish it was under better circumstances.”

“Me too. How is he?”

“He’s in recovery now. You were right, Doctor Banner, he was bleeding internally. We’ve stopped the bleeding, but we had to remove his spleen.”

Steve looked from one to the other. “What does that mean? I’m sorry, I don’t really know what the spleen does.”

“Most people don’t. The spleen is a big part of your immune system response. Without a spleen, you have a higher risk of infection, and if you do get sick, it can take longer to recover. I assume he’s had all of his childhood shots,” she didn’t notice Bruce and Steve exchange a worried glance, “but he’ll need to be sure he gets his flu shot every year and be on the alert for other infections. I’ll give you some literature…” 

She stopped suddenly. “I’m sorry... It’s been a very long day, and I’ve only just realized that I’m giving you all of this information without even checking if I’m talking to the right people.” She smiled. “I’m used to sharing information with Doctor Banner as a colleague, and it just feels so natural to talk to Captain America that I haven’t even checked to see if there’s anyone else I should be speaking to. Does he have family I should be talking to instead?”

Bruce shook his head. “No, it’s okay. We’re responsible for him, you can talk to us.”

“Okay, good.” She smiled again. “Nice to know I won’t be sued for violating his right to privacy!”

Noting the weariness on the doctor’s face, Steve asked, “Can I get you some coffee?”

“Oh, that would be wonderful, thank you!”

When Steve returned to the room, Bruce was writing something in a small notepad. At his questioning look, Bruce explained, “There are other shots he’s going to need, and we need to find out if he’s protected against any of the childhood illnesses.”

Doctor Adrian took a sip of her coffee. “Oh, thank you, I needed that! My shift actually ended a few hours ago.”

Bruce looked stricken. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think…”

“No, I don’t mind, I’m glad I was here and could help. But I‘m grateful for the caffeine! Shall we continue? His hand was badly broken - we had to insert pins in three of his fingers and a plate to stabilize the injury. His thumb was also broken, but it was a clean break. When the cast comes off, he’s going to need rehabilitation. Hopefully, he’ll regain full use of the hand, but we can’t be sure. His ankle was also broken, but it was a clean break and I have no doubt that he’ll regain full mobility.” She looked down at her notes. “Let me see… oh, yes. He also has three broken ribs - again, clean breaks so I don’t foresee any problems there. He also has a small hairline fracture of his cheekbone. It should heal naturally over time, but we’ll have to give him soft foods for a while - nothing that requires too much chewing.” At that, she looked up again. “While we’re on the subject, he is significantly underweight. Do you know if he suffers from any kind of an eating disorder?”

Steve and Bruce exchanged shocked looks. It was Bruce that answered. “Not to our knowledge. We’ll have to check with his brother. I know he’s always been thin…”

Doctor Adrian pursed her lips. “This goes beyond thin. Judging by his appearance, he’s at least twenty-five pounds underweight.”

Bruce stared at her. “Twenty-five pounds?” He hadn’t noticed.

“At least.”

Bruce made another note in his notebook. “Anything else we should know?”

The doctor looked at her papers again. “I think that’s everything. Now that he’s stabilized and in no immediate danger, I want to do a CT scan just to make sure there isn’t anything we’ve missed.” 

Bruce nodded. “Sure. Do you…”

He broke off as the door to the room burst open. It was Fury, flanked by guards. “Where is he?”

Doctor Adrian stood quickly and pressed her back against the wall. “What?”

Steve Rogers placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s alright. Director Fury, this is Doctor Adrian.”

“Doctor Adrian. Would you mind giving us some privacy?”

“Oh! Oh, yes. Of course.” She gathered her papers.

Steve stepped forward, holding out his hand. “Thank you, doctor.”

Bruce mirrored his action. “Yes, thank you.”

“You’re very welcome. It was nice to meet you, Mr Rogers.”

As she hurried out, she collided with someone in the hall. Looking up to see who she had bumped into, she took in the sight before her. “Ironman!”

His faceplate fell away and he grinned at her. She could smell alcohol on his breath when he spoke. “Happy to sign autographs later, but right now I’m looking for someone - big, scary guy, dressed like an S&M pirate?”

She pointed to the room she’d just left and he leaned against the doorframe. “Hey, Dread Pirate Roberts, glad you called. We have some things we need to discuss.”

“I agree. Let’s start with why Loki is out of the tower and why no one called me.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed. “Kinda thinking you should be the one explaining it to me.”

Fury crossed his arms over his chest. “Where is he and who’s with him?”

Bruce moved to stand beside Tony. “No-one’s with him, he’s in recovery. He isn’t even conscious yet.”

Fury narrowed his eyes. “You left him alone? He could have murdered half of New York City by now!”

Bruce gaped at him. “Are you serious? He’s just come out of surgery! He couldn’t cause trouble if his life depended on it!”

“We don’t know that for a fact. We saw how quickly he healed after he was beaten by the Hulk.”

“Loki is human now. He heals like we do.”

“As far as we know.”

“Wow. Finally we have proof that Fury’s insane,” Tony deadpanned.

“I don’t really care what you think. You agreed to keep Loki at the tower. If you’ve changed your mind, we have plenty of room for him at Shield.”

“Director, it was an emergency…”

“Of your making, by the way. Which we need to discuss. Before you start complaining about Reindeer Games being in hospital, maybe we should talk about why he’s here?”

Fury crossed his arms. “They weren’t acting on my orders, and we don’t know what he did to provoke them.”

Steve and Bruce both began to protest, but Tony spoke over them. “You wanna know what he did? Great! Let’s find out, shall we? Jarvis, roll ’em.”

Once again, the video footage began to play on the screen. Fury watched, keeping his face impassive and his thoughts to himself. 

Tony leaned over and paused the screen on the image of Loki lying unconscious on the floor. “Yeah, you can see they had no choice. He really shouldn’t have taken that bread.”

“They didn’t expect him to be walking around like he owns the place. What was he doing out of his room?”

Tony refused to concede the point; he certainly wasn’t going to admit that the thought of Loki creeping around his penthouse at night freaked him out. 

Luckily, Steve answered for him. “Loki isn’t a prisoner, Director. He isn’t confined to his room.”

“He shouldn’t be allowed to wander around unsupervised!”

Tony was very happy to answer that one. “He wouldn’t have been unsupervised if Jarvis hadn’t been offline. Can’t have it both ways, Fury. If you’re going to hack my security, you can’t complain that the tower wasn’t secure.”

Fury opened his mouth to respond just as his phone began to ring. “Fury.”

His eyebrows rose and - Tony wouldn’t have believed it was possible - smiled. “Oh, I think you’re going to want to hear this.” He pressed a button and put the phone on the table. “Would you repeat that? You’re on speaker.”

A voice came from the other end, “Um, yeah... okay. This is Darcy Lewis, I work with Jane Foster - y’know, the one with the big hammer wielding boyfriend?”

“We know who you mean, Miss Lewis. Go on.”

“Well, apparently, I have to make this call for them ’cause they’re trying to - their words - ‘minimize contact’.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow and Tony stepped forward. “Wait, how do we know you are who you say you are?”

There was a pause on the other end. “I guess you could ask me something only someone who knows him would know.”

“Yeah, but I have no idea what you would know that no one else would.”

Another pause; then, in an excited tone, she said, “I know! The big guy eats Pop Tarts like they’re addictive and wears Captain America boxer shorts! Does that help?”

Steve’s jaw dropped and Tony snickered. “That’ll do it.” He turned to the others and explained, “I bought them and put them in his room as a joke. No idea he was actually gonna wear them! Okay, Darcy - can I call you Darcy? - what’s the message?”

“Well, I don’t know if this is going to make any sense to you, but we got a message from the spooky all-seeing guy saying ‘He must be returned to the tower immediately.’ Mean anything to ya?”

Bruce shifted in his chair. “Do they know why he’s not there?”

“I guess so. I mean, he must, right? He sees everything, so whatever it is, he’s seen it and he’s not happy. You take him out for ice cream? Shopping trip? Spa day?”

Fury leaned forward and picked up the phone. “Thank you for calling me, Miss Lewis.”

“Hey, no pro…” Fury hung up. “Well, I guess that’s that. Need any help moving him?”

Bruce stared at Fury with active dislike. “We don’t need any help.”

Fury grinned, unfazed. “Well, I guess I’d best leave you to it. Looks like you’ve got a prisoner to transport.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all - many thanks for your kind words and support. It really meant a lot to me - thank you, thank you, thank you! You’re all amazing. And thank you all for your comments and kudos, you’re the best! And because you’re all so wonderful and have waited so long, here’s two chapters!
> 
> Also, many of you are probably checking the tags about now, thinking, ‘wasn’t this supposed to be frostshield? Did she forget?’ and to those people I can only say, it’s a journey. But don’t worry, we’re nearly there! Just in case there’s any confusion, the Avengers are ‘Rogers’, ‘Banner’ and ‘Stark’ when it’s Loki’s point of view!
> 
> Regarding medical research - Did you ever watch ‘A Fish Called Wanda’? If so, do you remember the quote - “Apes don't read philosophy.” “Yes they do, Otto. They just don't understand it.” (Not saying I'm an ape, but sometimes you feel like one after hours of medical research!!!) I’ve done my best, but I’m a fanfic writer, not a doctor! (And that’s my nod to ‘Star Trek’!)
> 
> And don’t be afraid to let me know if you spot any errors (nicely, please!). I noticed a few issues with the timeline when I reread it, and also a few ‘Steve’s’ where there should be ‘Roger’s’ etc. Also reread ‘Cuckoo’ and noticed that I’d spelt ‘Jotunheim’ wrong for the first two or three chapters!
> 
> **Warning** about descriptions of intravenous needles. Don’t know if it’s necessary to warn about that, but they turn my stomach!

Doctor Adrian stared at Bruce in shock. “You want to WHAT?”

“Move him back to the tower.”

“But he hasn’t even woken up from the surgery yet! He needs to be under observation in case there are any problems, and we still have tests to run! You can’t possibly move him!”

Steve stepped forward, looking grave. “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m afraid we have no other choice.”

“But… but you’re taking a huge risk with his health! I just finished telling you that his immune system is compromised! What if he gets an infection? What if there are complications from the surgery? And we haven’t even given him a CT scan yet, there might still be a head injury that we don’t know about!”

Bruce nodded. “I know, but I also know that you’d have performed a quick examination before the surgery… Were there any signs of TBI?” He shot a look at Steve and explained, “Traumatic brain injury.”

Steve frowned and nodded.

The doctor’s manner became that of one speaking to a colleague. “His responses were a little off - but his GCS score was pretty good, considering the extent of his injuries.”

“GCS?”

Bruce patted his friend on the back. “Glasgow coma scale. I’ll explain later.”

“So what was your initial assessment?”

She sighed. “My first examination indicated nothing more than a mild concussion. But that doesn’t mean further tests aren’t warranted.”

“I hope you know me well enough to know that I wouldn’t put him at risk if I didn’t have to.”

“I do. It’s just… We worked really hard to keep him alive. I’d hate to find out that all our efforts were for nothing.” She sighed. “Alright… what do you need from me?”

Bruce ran his hands through his hair. “I need to know what to do, I guess. How to go forward with his treatment, what to look out for, rehabilitation, all of that.”

She gave a small, wry smile. “Sure. Took me years of medical school, but let me see if I can sum it up in the next few minutes.”

Bruce’s smile matched her own. “Doesn’t sound hard at all!”

\----------

Moving Loki was actually easier than they’d imagined, since he’d stayed unconscious the whole time. Bruce and Steve often forgot how simple things could be if you had money. Tony hired an ambulance to transport the patient and in less than an hour, Loki was once again set up in the medical lab at Stark tower.

\----------

Loki woke up slowly, looking around him before he moved; he had woken up in too many strange places lately. It took him a few minutes to recognize that he was once again in Stark’s medical lab.

A sound made him turn his head. Stark was sitting by his bedside, a device in his hands and his feet propped up on the end of the bed. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, back with us?"

Loki tried to push himself up, only to be stopped by a rush of pain. 

“Steady there, princess." Loki didn’t even register the title that had so upset his brother. "Gonna be sore for a while."

Stark pressed a button on the bed so that Loki’s upper body was slightly raised. He saw that his hand was encased in plaster and he seemed to be swathed in bandages. His blood chilled as he saw tubes filled with fluid attached to his skin. The blankets at the end of the bed looked oddly bulky and he twitched them away, revealing another white cast on his ankle. 

Loki opened his mouth to speak but coughed instead. He winced from the pain in his cheek and jaw and his throat felt as though it was lined with sandpaper. 

Stark jumped up. "Oh, right. Just a sec."

He came back a few seconds later with a cup. Loki tried to take it from him, but his hand was shaking too much for him to grasp it. Stark held it to his mouth and Loki drank, humiliated by his helplessness.

Banner hurried into the room. "Hey, Jarvis told me you’re awake. How are you feeling?"

Loki thought for a moment, assessing his condition. He was too hot, and his mind felt fuzzy and confused; he guessed that they were giving him drugs. Once again, they’d managed to get past his defenses. He had thought that by avoiding their food he would be able to resist their attempts to hurt him - apparently, he was mistaken. The agents in the penthouse had obviously been placed there to wait for him, although he didn’t know why the Avengers continued to keep up this charade of their innocence. It was his own fault, he should have known he couldn’t trust the spy in the wall; he was a fool to have done so. 

He wondered again what, if anything, he could do. He had promised Thor and Odin that he would stay with the Avengers until they thought it safe for him to return, but surely they could not have known that his enemies would make these attempts on his life. Thor’s friends had nearly killed him twice already; he needed to work out a plan before they escalated their attacks.

“Loki?” Loki started, causing stabs like lightning to course through his body. He hadn’t noticed the monster drawing closer to him. He had begun to think of Banner as someone he could trust, but now he could see that was a mistake. He tried again to push himself up and away, gritting his teeth against the pain.

Stark put his hands against Loki's shoulders and pushed him back against the pillows. It was woefully easy for him to do so. "Woah there, Snow White. Looks like I picked the wrong Disney princess. Didn’t know you could get any paler."

Tony took a moment to consider how apt the name really was; if it wasn’t for the cuts and the dark bruises on Loki's face, he would make a perfect Snow White, with that black hair and almost unnaturally pale skin… Banner and Steve kept talking about how young he looked, and Tony thought that perfect, unlined complexion was probably the reason why. 

It occurred to him that he hadn’t seen their guest since he’d arrived. On the two occasions he had really looked at him, the former god’s face had been disfigured with swelling and bruising. Tony hadn't paid much attention to Loki’s appearance when they’d met during the first invasion - the whole 'taking over the world thing’ had been a little distracting, after all. He remembered that the god hadn't looked healthy and Tony remembered the maniacal look in his eyes, but he hadn't seemed particularly youthful. Now, after examining him more closely, Tony thought he could see it; but then, people always looked younger when they slept. That must have been all it was. 

Loki fought against Stark’s touch and was hit by a sudden wave of vertigo. His voice seemed to come from very far away. "Let me go…" The pain and swelling in his jaw gave the words a distorted quality.

“You’re not going anywhere, you've been injured and now you’re confined to bed.” Banner was fussing about, holding Loki’s wrist and pushing something into his ear. He tried to bat it away with his free hand, but the cast made his actions clunky and awkward. 

Banner gently pushed the hand away. "I'm just checking your temperature and heart rate." 

After a few moments, he said, “It’s a little low, but that’s fine. Your blood pressure is low as well - do you know if that's normal for you?"

Loki tried to follow everything they were saying but he felt dull-witted and sluggish. He wasn't going to let them think he was anything but healthy. He didn't know whether any of his Jotun blood had broken through Odin's spell to make him human, but he wasn't going to take the risk of letting them believe he was abnormal. 

"Yes," he said quickly. “Normal.” The word came out ‘ormul’. 

Banner sat in the chair beside the bed. "Loki, we need to talk about what happened. You were hurt quite badly, and I need to tell you about your injuries. The attack by the Shield agents,” - Loki wondered what he meant; weren’t they all Shield agents? - “caused you to suffer internal bleeding. We had to operate and remove your spleen.”

They had… Loki’s eyes widened. “What?”

“We had to operate.” Seeing the confusion on Loki’s face, he clarified, “We had to cut into your abdomen” he pointed to the bandage wrapped around Loki’s stomach, “to remove the damaged organ and stop the bleeding.”

Loki stared for a moment in horror before moving his hand to the bandages across his middle. Not only were they filling his body with poisons, they had cut into his flesh and removed one of his organs! Surely Heimdall must have seen what they did? Surely, _surely _, now Thor would return and take him away from here?__

__As his panic rose, he was suddenly aware that his breathing was becoming erratic. Dimly he heard, “Get an oxygen mask, quick! Lay him back down!”_ _

__He felt himself being lowered to a reclining position as something was strapped over his mouth - poisoned gas, no doubt. He tried to push it away, but he suddenly had no strength. The world drifted away._ _

__\----------_ _

__Steve Rogers was sitting beside his bed when he woke next. The soldier looked worried. “Hey, are you awake? Jarvis, Loki’s awake, can you get Bruce?”_ _

__“Certainly, sir.”_ _

__Loki felt the bed raise again. “How are you feeling? Would you like some water?”_ _

__Loki nodded. His throat still hurt and he was extremely thirsty. He reached out for the cup, the sight of the tubes in his flesh making him feel sick to his stomach. His hand was still trembling but steadier than before. The soldier hovered, ready to help if he was needed, as Loki drained the cup._ _

__The water tasted wonderful. Loki knew he shouldn’t trust him, but he was so thirsty… He couldn’t stop himself from asking, “More?”_ _

__The soreness of his throat made even that word difficult, and the swelling of his cheek seemed to have increased to the point where he felt he was talking through a pillow._ _

__Rogers seemed to understand him, though. “Sure.”_ _

__The door opened and Banner walked into the room. “Loki! How are you feeling?”_ _

__“’M well.” The answer was automatic. His head felt fuzzy and throbbed, he was too hot, and every part of his body seemed to hurt, but it would not be wise to admit such things to an enemy. He spoke slowly, doing his best to make his words clear and intelligible despite his discomfort. ”Can I go to my room now?” He wanted to be out of there, out of the room they always brought him to after their attacks._ _

__Rogers and Banner exchanged a look and Banner took a seat beside him. “Loki, we didn’t get the chance to talk properly before.”_ _

__Loki frowned. He remembered Banner telling him… telling him they’d cut into him. He froze. What had happened after that? He couldn’t remember… had they put something in the water? No, the mask! There must have been some kind of poison in the mask!_ _

__Banner seemed to sense his confusion. “You had a panic attack. It’s okay, we all get them occasionally. Comes with the territory.”_ _

__“Panic attack?” Loki tried to keep the skepticism from his voice. He had never heard of such a thing. Why did they continue to pretend in this way?_ _

__“Something I said must have triggered a panic response in you and you began to hyperventilate. We gave you oxygen to help you breathe, but since you’re still weak from the surgery, you were out for a while.”_ _

__Loki didn’t believe it, but he nodded anyway. Even if he had the words, it would do no good to argue._ _

__Bruce waited a moment to see if Loki had any questions and then continued. “Besides the ruptured spleen, your attackers broke three of your ribs, your ankle and most of the bones in your hand. You also have a hairline fracture in your cheek, which is why it hurts when you move your mouth.”_ _

__Seeing that Doctor Banner expected a response, he nodded again. He was very tired and just wanted to sleep again._ _

__Bruce’s brow furrowed. “Loki, do you understand?”_ _

__Loki forced himself to pay attention. “Yes.” He thought of a question - how many days will it be before I’m fully recovered? - but felt, with the state of his mouth, that was far too ambitious. He shortened it as well as he could, and hoped that they would understand what he was asking. “How long ’till I’m…” he tried to say ‘better’ but found he couldn’t manage the ‘b’, “well?”_ _

__Another look between the doctor and the captain. “Your facial swelling should go down in the next few days, but I’d advise soft foods for the next two to three weeks. You need to keep your leg elevated for the next ten to fourteen days. After that, you can start to move around a little, although you’ll need help. There’s no way you can use crutches with your hand in a cast.”_ _

__Steve looked thoughtful. “Maybe Tony has a wheelchair he could use?”_ _

__Bruce nodded. “I’ll ask him. Loki, are you okay?”_ _

__Loki had stopped listening after the first sentence, and was staring at the doctor, aghast. “Two weeks?” He couldn’t believe it. He knew mortals took a long time to heal, but that was ridiculous!_ _

__Bruce looked pained. “No, Loki. I’m sorry, but we heal a lot slower than that. You’ll be able to move around a little after two weeks, but you’re going to have to wear the cast until the bones knit together. With no complications, it should take about six weeks.”_ _

__Loki couldn’t believe he’d heard correctly. “Six!”_ _

__“Yes, Loki. I’m sorry.”_ _

__Loki tried not to show his horror. He would be vulnerable, lying here at their mercy. Twice now they had nearly succeeded in killing him, and both times he had been at full strength and prepared. How much easier would it be for them, with him drugged, lying on his back without even the use of his hand or his foot?_ _

__Roger’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Loki? Are you alright?”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__Steve thought his voice sounded very small, and wondered again how someone so old could look and sound so very young._ _

__“My room?” He hoped they would understand what he was asking._ _

__They could hear the desperation in his voice. “No, sorry. We need to keep you here at least until you’re able to move around a little. After that, we’ll see if you can return to your room.”_ _

__Loki nodded. He didn’t have the energy to argue, he hurt everywhere and he was so tired… Why did they keep the room so hot? He felt his eyelids starting to droop and he felt the bed recline again._ _

__“Well, we can finish this later. Get some sleep. Do you need something for the pain?”_ _

__Loki barely had time to shake his head before sleep overtook him._ _

__\----------_ _

__He regretted not taking the painkiller the next morning. His body felt like it was on fire._ _

__A movement at his side alerted him to the presence of another person. It was the captain._ _

__“Water?”_ _

__Loki nodded; he didn’t want to speak, the pain in his cheek was worse. The bed raised again and he was handed a cup. He reached for it clumsily; the needle and tubes made his hand feel heavy and the shaking was back._ _

__“Here, let me help.” Steve held the cup to his lips and he drank. “I’ll get some more.”_ _

__Loki brushed his hand across his forehead; why was it always so hot in here? Did they know he was a Frost Giant? Was it part of the torture?_ _

__“Are you hurting? Do you need something for the pain?”_ _

__“Yes.” His voice quavered as he admitted his weakness._ _

__“Okay, let me get you something. Bruce left some pills for you… Here they are.” Steve paused for a moment, uncertain. “Do you take pills like this on Asgard?”_ _

__Loki stared, uncomprehending._ _

__“Well, anyway, just swallow them, don’t chew, okay?”_ _

__Loki nodded again as he took the pills. He knew he was a fool to trust them, but he didn’t think he could feel worse._ _

__Once again, Steve held the water to his lips. “I know some people hate swallowing pills. There was a time in my life when I thought it was the only thing I’d ever be good at.” He saw Loki’s questioning look and added, “I was sick a lot as a child.”_ _

__That surprised Loki; he assumed the soldier was like Thor, and had always been strong and healthy. He didn’t know what caused him to answer the soldier. “I too.”_ _

__Steve’s eyebrows rose. “Really? I guess I kind of assumed that the Aesir never got sick.”_ _

__“They don’t. Just me.” Perhaps because I’m not Aesir, he thought. He managed to stop himself in time. He didn’t know why he’d said as much as he did. Was it possible the pills contained some kind of truth drug? Such concoctions were not unknown…_ _

__He realized Steve was talking and he’d lost track of the conversation._ _

__“Loki? Are you okay? I think I lost you there.”_ _

__“Fine. ’M fine.” His head was throbbing and he couldn't think straight and it was so HOT, why was it so _HOT _?___ _

____“If you’re too warm, I can get Jarvis to turn the temperature down. Jarvis?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, sir. Mr Stark keeps the temperature in the tower at 70 degrees; would you like me to lower the temperature in this room?”_ _ _ _

____“Yes, turn it down to 67. Thank you, Jarvis.” Steve began to pull the sheet away from Loki’s chest. “That should help cool you down for now.”_ _ _ _

____Loki brushed the hair back from his face. “So _hot _…”___ _ _ _

______Steve frowned. “I know, you just said so.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Loki frowned. “I did?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Now it was Steve’s turn to frown. He leaned forward and put a hand to Loki’s forehead. “You’re a little warm. Just a second.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He returned a minute later and pushed something into Loki’s ear. Loki tried to twist away but Steve held it in place until it beeped. “97.4. It isn’t a fever until 100.4, is it Jarvis?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“It is certainly within normal parameters, but if you are concerned, I can call Doctor Banner.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes. Please.” Loki felt a cool hand on his forehead, and he sighed as he closed his eyes and leaned into it. “Hmm. Loki, apart from hot, how do you feel?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Fuzzy… drugged me…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Steve’s eyes widened. “Drugged you? No, of course we didn’t! Loki, I… Loki?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What’s wrong, did something happen?” Loki heard Doctor Banner’s voice._ _ _ _ _ _

______“He’s acting like he’s feverish, but his temperature’s only 97.4. He feels hot.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Loki felt another hand on his forehead. “You’re right. Anything else I should know?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“He was rambling. Talking about being hot but didn’t seem to remember saying it. Then he accused us of drugging him and now he seems completely out of it.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Loki?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Loki tried to turn away, but gave a whimper when his damaged cheek hit the pillow._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Loki, will you talk to me?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Tired…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I know, Loki. But first, we need to find out what’s wrong, okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Loki scowled and tried to push his hand away. “No...” His body hurt everywhere and his head was swimming… Why wouldn’t they leave him alone?_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I’ll let you sleep if you answer a few questions, alright?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Questions, always questions, and he was so _tired _! Why wouldn’t they just let him sleep? Why were they torturing him like this? He lifted his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead… How quickly they had learned his weakness! It was so hot, so very, very hot…___ _ _ _ _ _

________“Loki?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He couldn’t think, he was so hot… Tired and angry, and hurting so badly that he didn’t even register the pain in his jaw, he snapped, “I don't know anything about Midgard or the Tesseract, why won’t you believe me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	12. Chapter 12

Bruce knew the shock on Steve’s face matched his own. “Did he just say…”

“Yeah.”

“It sounded like…”

“Yes. Yes it did. Jarvis, did you get that?”

“Yes, sir. Would you like me to replay it?”

“No, not right now… just - keep it for later, please.”

“Certainly, Mr Rogers.”

Bruce was bending over Loki, trying to rouse him.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“I’m not sure. He shows all the signs of a high fever but his temperature is too low… unless his normal temperature is lower, but if he’s completely human now…” He bit his lip.

“Then it shouldn’t be.” Steve finished. They stared at the figure on the bed. “What do we do?”

Bruce rubbed his hands through his hair. “I guess… we do the best we can and worry about everything else later.”

\----------

Things seemed very confusing for a time. Loki was aware of hearing people talk around him, but voices seemed distant and the words didn’t make sense to him.

“...warned there was a risk of infection.”

“...tried calling? He might know…”

“...can’t reach him, went on a trip…”

“...spoken to Adrian, she says…”

His mind wandered, and he called out in pain as his tormentors continued to raise the temperature and boil the skin from his bones.

\----------

Tony, Bruce and Steve took it in turns to sit with him. 

Tony hated it. The enforced silence and the lack of anything to do made him crazy. He tried bringing something to read, like Bruce, but it was too quiet for him to concentrate. He needed noise! 

He’d thought about making an excuse after the first couple of times, but Steve and Bruce didn’t want Loki to be left alone while he was so sick, and it would have been exhausting to split the shifts between two people. And Tony had to admit, he felt bad for Loki. The kid hadn't caused any trouble since he'd been there, but trouble seemed to find him. He hadn't even been a mortal for two months and his life had been endangered twice. 

On top of that, it now looked as if there might be more to the attack than they’d thought - circumstances that might shed a different light on what had happened, if words spoken in delirium counted. Steve and Bruce seemed to think they did, and Tony trusted their judgement. Well, he trusted Bruce, anyway. Steve would always trust his heart and root for the underdog, but Bruce believed in reasoning and science, like Tony.

So now Tony was bursting with questions. He was desperate to start going over what they knew of the attack, but he had a ton of work to do for Stark Industries, which he had been ignoring while he upgraded a wheelchair for Loki.

Bruce had forbidden him to work on the investigation while he was in the infirmary. Apparently, even in his current state, Loki was still aware of at least some of what was happening around him and might be upset if he heard recordings of the attack. Bruce had even forbidden Tony from talking about it while he was there.

So, yeah. Tony was going to sit by the kid's bedside and do nothing until it drove him crazy. 

Which it would probably be any minute now.

His phone began to ring and he answered it quickly, glad of the distraction. He listened quietly for a few minutes as Pepper described the problem she was having with the foreign investor; a grin broke out on his face. Screw it, he thought, Jarvis can help them; that’s what he was designed for!

“Pepper,” he interrupted, “don’t worry about a thing. I can fly out within the hour!”

\----------

Steve sat by the bedside and held a cool rag to Loki’s forehead. He felt - as the team leader - that he should have taken a greater interest in their guest. He’d been too distracted lately, trying to chase down Bucky, following every lead, every sighting, every rumor; it was almost becoming an obsession. He needed to step back, to remember he had other responsibilities - responsibilities like the Avengers and Loki. He should have stayed on top of things and not forgotten the oath he made to Thor. And - as much as it pained him to admit it - he shouldn’t have trusted Clint or Fury.

He knew his sense of guilt wasn’t entirely valid; he couldn’t have done anything to stop Shield from setting up the decoy mission and sending their agents - but he should at least have known if Loki wasn’t eating enough. Why was he so thin, and why had he been taking bread from Tony’s kitchen? And why (and how, for that matter) did Jarvis sound almost irritated when Steve tried to ask him about it? As if somehow, Steve wasn’t asking the right questions?

And he felt he had been betrayed by people he trusted. The Avengers were a team; Clint and Natasha had lied, and Loki was paying the price for their deception. If Tony hadn’t acted, then Steve would have done so. As it was, he would be sure to speak with them as soon as his temper had cooled and Loki was in better health.

He didn’t even want to think about Thor’s reaction if the god returned now and saw his brother like this. It would be weeks - months even, if you counted the physical therapy - before Loki would be recovered.

And there was the larger question - what was the meaning of Loki’s rambling words? Clearly, he had thought they were someone else - someone else who had an interest in the Earth and the Tesseract. Someone who had - clearly - not taken ‘no’ for an answer. So who was it? And how far had they gone in their efforts to extract the information from Loki? And if they had used force, then why hadn’t Thor told them and exonerated his brother?

Steve and Bruce had played the recording for Tony, but events had moved too quickly for them to discuss it further. Loki’s condition had quickly become worse, and then Tony had _conveniently _learned that he needed to leave on a business trip - something about problems they were having at one of their overseas factories - leaving Steve and Bruce to take care of the patient on their own.__

__Loki whimpered and crawled further into the bed, lifting a thin arm to brush a lock of hair away from his swollen face. Steve moved it for him, touching the cool cloth against the bruised cheek and Loki calmed under his touch. The light streamed in from the window and shone on Loki’s hair, making it seem lighter._ _

__Steve suddenly remembered a time - so very many years ago - when for once, it hadn’t been him that was lying ill in bed, but Bucky. Bucky and his family had been sick with food poisoning, and Steve and his mother had gone to take care of them. Seeing Loki lying in the bed, hair falling across his face, made Steve think of Bucky as he’d been then._ _

__Even though he’d felt bad for Bucky, he’d enjoyed taking care of him. Steve’s constant ill health meant that he was usually the one that everyone needed to look after, but he was a natural caretaker - especially when it came to the ones he loved._ _

__And he loved Bucky._ _

__He wished he could have told him - just once - how he’d felt, but men didn’t do that then. In his day, men could go to prison for an admission like that - and so he’d said nothing, and loved Bucky in silence. He thought that Bucky must have loved him too._ _

__He leant forward and once again brushed Loki’s soft hair. In this light, he could almost believe it was Bucky. Loki made a small sound - Steve didn’t think it was a bad sound - and turned slightly towards his touch. Long eyelashes fluttered, but remained closed, allowing the illusion to remain._ _

__Quietly, Steve stood and retrieved the pad and pencils he’d brought in with him. He began to sketch._ _

__\----------_ _

__Loki stirred in his bed. He could hear the sound of a pen scratching against paper and smiled. His mother must be nearby, writing quickly in her elegant script. He moved to stretch and gave a gasp as a wave of pain hit him._ _

__Steve tossed aside his pencil and sketching pad. “Hey, try not to move, okay?”_ _

__Loki frowned as he tried to remember the last time he had been awake. He remembered talking to Rogers, and being too hot and then… He frowned. He had been so hot… had they tried to torture him? To boil and burn the truth out of him? With a start, he realized that the head of the bed was being raised and Rogers was holding out a glass of water. He reached for it with a trembling hand._ _

__“Best let me hold it right now. The last thing you want is to spill it all over your sheets.” He grinned, the same self depreciating grin he’d had before. “Trust me, I’ve done that a few times.”_ _

__Loki would have protested if it wasn’t for the fact that his hand was shaking and he felt as weak as a kitten. He sipped the water gratefully and then glared at the captain, his gaze accusatory._ _

__Steve sighed. “Loki, whatever you’re thinking, we didn’t do it, alright? You weren’t drugged or tortured or any of the things you’ve been rambling about while you’ve been ill. You got sick because we had to move you too soon after your operation. You’ve been feverish and rambling for almost a week and Bruce and I have been taking care of you. Even Jarvis has been worried about you, haven’t you Jarvis?”_ _

__“Indeed I have, sir. I am happy to see you with us again, Loki. I have also notified Doctor Banner that you are awake and he is on his way.”_ _

__Loki was just finishing the water when the doctor burst in, making Loki jump. If it hadn’t been for the captain’s steady grip on the glass, his prediction of wet sheets would have been realized._ _

__“Loki, you’re awake!”_ _

__Loki raised a supercilious eyebrow, feeling a little more like himself. “Clearly.”_ _

__He caught a grin being shared between his hosts and scowled. “Good to see you’re feeling more like yourself.”_ _

__He picked up the machine Loki remembered from before and poked it into Loki’s ear. “Steady, I just need to get a temperature.” He placed a hand on Loki’s forehead. “Hum.”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Even when your fever was at its highest, your temperature was low. I’ve been reading up on it. It might simply be that it’s normally lower than average, or it may be because of an underlying health problem. You’re considerably underweight, and that could certainly be a contributing factor. But I would like to keep an eye on you and make sure it isn’t anything serious. How do you feel now?”_ _

__Loki considered. He hurt everywhere, but he wasn’t about to admit such a weakness to an enemy. “Fine.”_ _

__Banner raised an eyebrow. “You were sick for almost a week. Right now, you need to rest and heal. Steve and I will stay with you round the clock. I just want to make sure you're out of the woods."_ _

__Loki looked around in confusion. “The woods?" Were they not still in the city?_ _

__"It's a saying. It means I want to make sure that you're not going to get sick again. If you're okay at the end of two weeks, then you can go back to your room. But you’ve been very ill and your immune system has taken a hit, so you’ll still need to stay in bed and rest there until you’re stronger…"_ _

__Loki couldn't believe his ears. He hadn't been confined to bed for so long since he was a child. He would be ashamed to lie in a sick bed for so long. "I will not lie abed like a babe or invalid!"_ _

__Banner shook his head. "Loki, you're mortal now. You don't heal instantly anymore, and mortals take time to recover from something like this. Trust me."_ _

__And there was the root of the problem; he didn't trust him - he didn't trust any of them._ _

__\----------_ _

__He was ashamed to admit that Banner had been right. For the next few days, he did little more than sleep, and when Banner told him that he was well enough to return to his room, they brought a wheeled chair for him._ _

__He bristled, his color rising. “I will not use that thing!”_ _

__Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. What with the stress and the lack of sleep, he was quickly coming to the end of his patience. He wasn’t a doctor, and Loki certainly wasn’t the easiest patient. “That’s fine then, you can stay here. It would be easier for us if you did. But if you want to return to your room, then it’s this or have Steve carry you.”_ _

__Loki stared at him in horror. To be carried would be a million times worse! But he had to concede; he clearly couldn’t walk, and it wasn’t as if he could magically transport himself there.  
“Fine!”_ _

__Steve rolled his eyes and smiled at Bruce. “The chair then?”_ _

__“Yes!”_ _

__Steve pushed back the covers and his brief amusement died away. Except for the areas where Loki was wrapped in bandages, his thin body was a mass of multi colored bruises. Steve faltered; he couldn’t see how he could help the former god into the chair without causing him pain. He turned to Bruce. “How should we do this?”_ _

__“Probably best if we give him a painkiller first. Otherwise it’s going to hurt like hell.”_ _

__Again, Loki shook his head. “I am no coward; I can handle pain.”_ _

__Clearly, thought Bruce, since even talking must hurt. “We know that, Loki, but trying to move you without giving you something first is crazy.”_ _

__Loki fixed him with a cold glare. “Appropriate, then.”_ _

__Bruce was doing his best to stay calm and not lose his temper. He pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Fine. Have it your way.”_ _

__Carefully, Steve put one arm around Loki’s legs and another under his back before lifting him gently. Despite the care he took, he heard Loki’s gasp of pain as he moved him to the chair. Loki was a white as a ghost. Steve knelt beside him. “You okay?”_ _

__He answered through gritted teeth. “Yes.”_ _

__Steve looked at him for a minute longer. Loki was sweating and his fists were clenched, but he was holding on. Steve nodded and took up his position behind the chair. Like everything in this modern world, the chair was electric, and Tony had added voice activation upgrades so Loki could use it easily, even with his broken hand. Even so, Steve felt more comfortable pushing him, at least until Loki was used to it._ _

__Loki was happy to see his room again; it was the nearest thing he had to a place of his own. He hadn’t tidied away any of Thor’s things, and their presence about the place made it feel a little like home._ _

__Once again, Steve Rogers helped him to get in and out of the chair, much to his embarrassment. They had been right about the pain of being jostled, and once he was in his own bed, he lay back, pale, drenched with perspiration, and exhausted._ _

__The soldier carefully pulled the covers over him. "Comfortable?"_ _

__Loki nodded, his cheeks flaming._ _

__"Can I get you anything?"_ _

__Loki hurt everywhere and desperately wished he had taken the painkiller they had tried to give him, but it was too late now. He would not show them his weakness. "No. Thank you."_ _

__"Okay." Rogers looked around for a minute. "I'll be right back."_ _

__Loki heard him moving around in the kitchen. After a few minutes, the soldier returned and placed a glass and a water bottle on the table beside the bed. “Ready for that painkiller now?”_ _

__Loki resolution crumbled at the sight of the proffered pill. "Yes." And after a moment, "Please."_ _

__Rogers handed him a glass and Loki quickly swallowed the medication. He leaned back against the pillows. He couldn't believe he was still tired after two days of sleeping. He forced his eyes to stay open. “You can go now.”_ _

__To his dismay, Rogers pulled a chair from beside the wall and sat next to the bed. "Since we don’t have eyes in here - and we can’t trust you to call for help when you need it - we’re going to make sure someone’s here to take care of you. Just until you’re feeling better.”_ _

__Loki flushed. "I am well enough. I do not need your help, I am not a child!"_ _

__Steve suppressed a smile. He thought of asking what Loki intended to do when he needed the bathroom or a glass of water, but stopped himself. He remembered protesting in a similar vein when he was sick and everyone else in the world seemed to be stronger than him. "No, but you’re human now, and we take longer to heal. There’s no shame in asking for help when you need it.”_ _

__Loki stared at him before turning his head away and closing his eyes to stem the tears of pain and frustration. Of course there was shame in being weak and needing help._ _

__There always had been._ _

__\----------_ _

__Steve watched as Loki tried to find a comfortable position that would allow him to rest. Sighing, and knowing that there was nothing else he could do, he began to tell a story about a time when he had been sick and his mother had wanted to bake him an apple pie, to make him feel better._ _

__It wasn’t an exciting story, but it had some funny moments. Halfway through, she’d realized that she wouldn’t have enough apples and couldn’t afford to buy more. Bucky had promptly jumped up and grabbed his coat, promising her that he knew where he could get some. He returned a little while later with pockets full of crab apples in various stages of ripeness. He’d climbed a tree in the park to get them, hiding himself in the branches whenever a policeman passed by._ _

__Loki was too tired to really listen to what he was saying, but found himself lulled by the quality of the soldier's voice. It was low and mellow, easy to listen to and demanding nothing of the listener. Loki's eyes began to close._ _

__Steve watched as Loki began to drift into sleep. When he stopped talking, Loki would begin to wake, as if looking for his voice; so Steve continued to talk, his voice becoming quieter as Loki fell deeper into sleep. Afterwards, he continued to sit there, watching the sleeping figure and thinking of Bucky._ _

__After a couple of hours, he heard the sound of the door._ _

__It was Bruce. "Everything all right?"_ _

__"Yeah. Just…" How to explain why he was sitting by the bed, staring at their patient, and not in the other room, watching tv or reading? He sighed, "Just making sure he's okay."_ _

__"Is he?"_ _

__"Worn out, I think, and hurting everywhere." He grinned at Bruce. "But I think he'd rather die than admit it."_ _

__Bruce grimaced. "With anyone else, I'd say that was a figure of speech but when it comes to Loki, I believe it."_ _

__He picked up a chair and set it down next to Steve. “Still don’t understand why he won’t just accept help when he needs it.”_ _

__Steve glanced at the figure on the bed, bruised and thin and pale. "I'm guessing he doesn't want to appear weak. Especially now that he's mortal. He has to prove to us that he's still strong, still better than us."_ _

__Bruce quirked an eyebrow. "You seem to have a pretty good understanding of him."_ _

__Steve shrugged. "I guess it's because I’ve been there, I know what it's like. Thinking everybody is stronger and being desperate to prove that you're tougher, despite everything. I remember one day when Bucky…" He broke off._ _

__Bruce decided to change the subject. He knew Bucky was still a raw wound for Steve.  
"He looks a lot younger like this, doesn't he?"_ _

__“Yeah, he does."_ _

__"I wonder how time and aging works on Asgard. I know we have stories about them, so we can assume they're really old… but how does it translate to their aging process? Are you completely mature at, say, eighteen, or does it take longer?"_ _

__Steve shrugged, his mind already back on Bucky, and Bruce subsided. It was probably a discussion better suited for Tony anyway._ _


End file.
